Heart Palpitations

All I want to do is eat. Eat.all.the.things. I want cake, cookies, salty chips, whole avocados. This is how I get when I am stressed, excited, nervous, feeling in limbo, feeling settled… Basically, all the time. However, the need to eat my feelings is therapy-edition-bad  when I have big decisions to make.
I am a horrible decision maker.
In that, I will avoid making major life decisions at all costs. Most days, I hope life will just happen and I won’t have to make any rash/huge/scary decisions myself.
The most inane, ridiculous aspect of this is that currently I am stressing about making a decision I don’t even have to make right now. I am stressing about stressing about a scenario that has not even happened.
What the?
As most of you know, I am attempting to make the big move to England (just writing that makes my eye twitch and heart palpitate). I had an interview last Wednesday with a school in Oxford. It was so cool. I would say it went well, and I learned a lot about the school, the school system in England, and that “fab” is my new favorite expression.
They expressed their disappointment that they wouldn’t be able to see me teach. I offered to send a video ASAP. They were thrilled. Then, I was down for the count with bronchitis for 4 days. This is how my life usually responds to time-sensitive things.
The woman I have been communicating with has been super nice and understanding, and insisted it was not a rush. So, after a depressing three days of missed work and a weekend, I came back to work, found a video on my school iPad I had already done, and sent it off.
I look hideous in this video, and it could be debated that I am about 6 months along due to the wonderful angle it was taken in. I mean, I am not even lying. The still of the beginning of the video makes me look like Sloth after a stroke. I am not kidding. So, I sincerely hope they disregard my RCF (resting crazy face) and just concentrate on the excellent teaching (if I do say so myself).
So, the point of my post is that I am stressing about a job I have yet to attain.
I was actually stressing about whether or not I should sell my Keurig, or not. I actually looked up shipping costs to ship a Keurig.
What the actual hell?
I don’t even have a job offer, but I am already homesick and sweating over the cost of public transportation.
What the fuck?
For real though, if this happens, it will be huge. Scary, exciting, expensive, and life-altering. Despite the exciting aspect of this, anything that is this huge of a change is terrifying.
I am also quite surprised by how expensive it is over there. I read somewhere that the cost of living is something like 33% higher in the U.K. than in the U.S. Yikes. There is a very real possibility I won’t even be able to afford this.
So, nothing other than stress to report.

39 thoughts on “Heart Palpitations”

  1. It’s going to be an adventure, I would stop trying to control it, decide and go with the flow. Don’t stress about shipping costs and such just yet.
    It is expensive to live in the UK, but guess what we manage, public transport costs will make you puke, but it’s still cheaper than owning you own car I would say.
    The price of a place varies a lot around places like Oxford, becasue in Oxford will probably be unaffordable for you. I have a friend who works in Oxford who commutes in, I can ask them where the cheaper areas are. Also if you’re made an offer and get someone to check and make sure you’re not being taken for a ride. Just to make sure.
    Good luck – see you when you get over, becasue I’m sure you will – so enjoy the ride!

    1. Great advice, friend! Yes, the cost of flats, and even house shares make me feel sick! I thought rental prices were high here! That’s a good idea about commuting in, but I won’t have a car. Will the train be a reasonable option?! 😜😜

      1. Train or bus, it depends where you will be staying and working. Like I say, I can find out a,fair bit for you via a friend.
        You can worry about the car later, you know we have small quaint cars here rather than your big American ones. Oh, if you import the car you may also have to spend money making it up to acceptable uk spec. I’m not sure.

        1. Oh, I’ll sell my car. I don’t want to deal with the cost of getting it there 😱. Isn’t it really hard and expensive to get your driver’s license over there? I love your small, quaint cars! I didn’t want to give up the rental we had when we were over there.

          1. What was the car you had over here? I’m not sure how getting the licence over here compares with there. If you start from scratch you have to take a theory test and a practical driving test once you’ve passed that. But you shouldn’t have to start from scratch as you can drive, I would imagine the theory test you would need, but the rest I’m not sure.
            Oh yes, we have roundabouts too, and high speed corners as well, something that might be new to you lol. Some of the road systems here make you wonder if the engineer designing it was on drugs at the time.
            Its funny, despite the fairly high level to get your licence, you still get complete wankers on the road.

          2. I actually had 3 different cars, as we dropped one off in Wales to get on the ferry to Dublin and then we when we came back, we got another car 😜. The first was a Peugeot. Then we had a crummy Nissan in Ireland. The last car was the cutest, but I can’t recall what it was. I want to say it started with a “v”.

          3. Haha… a V eh? That narrows it down. You’re going to have great fun over here I think! I hope I’m not scaring you, I’m making sure I give you an honest picture as far as I know it. But it’ll be fun when you get over! 🙂

  2. Oh, yeah … Simon is right … When I was a student (16 years ago – Gosh! So long ago … LOL) I rented a one room apartment in Cambridge for 280 pounds. What the … But I have not the time to look further and had to take it even before I go for the university. One did suggested that I should go for the Student Private Halls but I couldn’t imagine having to live with too many students. So, I looked up for a one room apartment or flat. Lucky enough for that one, but still everything else are quite expensive there.
    But still, do not let such thing bothers you too much! Think of the new life adventures and the new lively experiences you might earn. Be Happy! And do ENJOY!

      1. Yeah, true.
        But I admit it, although at that time I was too, worried so much about money, still I had the best time of life.
        I have no extra furniture in my room – just that one sofa where I sleep and sit and used for doing my homework! LOL
        Had no TV for a year and an old lady next door gave me her old tele as her son bought her a new one. Then one lovely lady from downstairs too, gave me her old desk included a small chair of which her husband so dearly scrubbed, polished and waxed. My neighbours were the kindest people ever and I was lucky enough to have these people around as they become my family in time. This is for one thing why I love English people. Well, of course, there are those idiots everywhere too, but what matters are the people who are there with you and for you.
        You will make it my, dear! For sure, YOU WILL!

  3. Big worries come with big decisions and big changes, but you are too far ahead of yourself. Slow down, breathe and enjoy the ride. It is an exciting time in your life!

  4. Jump in! It’ll be wonderful, crazy, terrifying. But you’ll never regret it. I started making wildly unlikely life decisions about 10 years ago. And can’t stop. I LOVE it 🙂 Enjoy!

  5. When you’re made an offer (since I am sure you will be!), check out gumtree.com – it’s the UK’s answer to classifieds 😉 When I was looking to move there, a friend suggested it. It has places to live and rent and you can get a sense of how much rent will be. Some places even come fully furnished! OH YEAH! hehe. And sell the Keurig! It won’t match the power outlets anyways lol

    1. OH DUH!! That’s another thing…all of my electronics will need a converter, right?! I have an app that lists flats and that’s how I’ve found how expensive it is to live there, but I’ll try that site too 👍

      1. Yes converters will save you. but then also think of things that you can replace, like hairdryers are totally replaceable, just pick one up when you get there haha

        1. Great idea! Have you ever experienced the converter blowing your electronics out? When I was in the UK a few years ago, my flat iron blew out. It was so weird 😔

          1. not blowing them out, but I had a small travel converter that would over heat so I could only use it for a little bit. In Korea, they have these converter boxes, which are amazing! I blew a fuse once on mine, trying to use a hairdryer and charge my laptop at the same time but that was it haha.

          2. haha! maybe? Some of the travel converters over heat and then something has to give. The best thing about this converter box is that if anything dies, it will be the box not my electronics.

          3. I hope they do! 🙂 Or you can always just buy replacement cords for things, like I could have bought a replacement cord for my laptop but it had to be special to convert the voltage, and it was going to be super expensive. I didn’t even look for it, just bought the $50 box haha

  6. Hey, I wrote about electricity, remember? https://carrotsinmycarryon.com/2016/02/24/electric-mess-aka-safety-professionals-gone-wild/ The appliances can’t take the extra voltage – I mean with a converter they sorta kinda can, but that’s like saying “gee Kate, you can jog for 3 miles, now RUN LIKE HELL FOR FOUR” and then I die.
    My stress mantra is DO ONE THING NOW. What is ONE thing you can physically DO to help? Pack something? Eat a meal from the back of the freezer? Shop online for European Keurigs? Do that thing. For some reason, crossing shiz off the list – even unimportant shiz – helps.
    you got this, chica. You got this.

  7. I TOTALLY GET ALL OF THIS!!!!!! Especially with the eating for every mood and feeling. Stressing over things that haven’t happened yet….all of it! I have learned or I should say am learning that when you have no control don’t think about it again. I struggle so much when there are so many balls in the air. Once you know that you have the job then everything else will fall into place. The big decision will be made and the rest will just make sense.

  8. You’ll be fine ya spoon!
    You can always ask me anything you like about the area. Don’t forget, it is STILL Oxford with ALL that history!
    Strangely enough I am going to that school this evening for a meeting.
    I have to say, I looks like a cool place so I shall report back once I have seen it for real if you like….

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