WTF Family Photos

In honor of my mother’s birthday yesterday, I thought I’d share my WTF Family Photos post for this week’s #fbf. Enjoy looking at some noob stranger’s family photos. But, really, you might find that they’re symbolic of your collection of weird family pictures before the advent of Instagram and other social media. You know, before everyone had hundreds of pictures of their lunch on their phone. Ah, the good ol’ days! 
In looking through some old family photo albums for pictures of my mom for my last post, Rein It In, I found some completely random, hilarious, and just plain WTF pictures. I took pictures of old pictures for hours, like a total noob, just so I could share them with all of you. 
I’m sure you are just thrilled to look at some random blogger’s family photos, but too bad. They were too good to just keep hidden in dusty books, never to be seen. 
I’d love it if some of you would share your most favorite WTF family photo. Let’s keep it weird. 

When showing this photo of my grandpa with a thong cake to my mom, she said, “We also made him a boob cake and my dog, Sadie, ate one of the tits. Just wow.

Every single person in this picture looks positively stunning, except for my uncle, who, apparently, thought it was a chance for a glamour shot #stunna

My uncle’s favorite part of Christmas was forgetting it was Christmas by taking a nap during most of it. 

My cousin played the part of “devil” far too well. If that’s not the face of up-to-no-good, I don’t know what is. Also, my mom said she made his costume out of an old bathrobe. My mom had skillz. 

Too cool for school. Crazy eyes really made my Spock hair pop. 

I love how, instead of rescuing their son/nephew/grandson from an evil goose chasing him, they instead took a photo for memory’s sake. 

This was my “whoa” face. You can read about it here. 

Another example of how ridiculous my family was. Apparently, capturing on film your darling child being attacked by the family dog was more important than saving her. Actually, our psycho dog was trying to eat the face off my doll. Regardless, my mom felt this a momentous enough event for this pic to have a place in a photo album. 

“Mom, are you watching me? I’m practically Mary Lou Retton!” as the dog is barfing in the background…

There were about 82 pictures of my dad’s sleep face. I’m not sure if that’s a VHS box or a box of chocolates. Either way, not one thing has changed today. 

Either my dad liked to wear his hats perched ever-so-slightly on the tippy top of his hair, or we now know where I got my immensely tall head. 

I can’t even right now with the glasses 😂😂😂

And my dad couldn’t even either. The joys of parenting, as can be read on his face. 

I wonder which asshole took this? Now ya’ll know being obnoxious with the camera is a learned trait. 

My mom: “I always felt I needed to have my hair as big as my body.”

Yup. 

Can you see the want in my eyes for alcohol? Where it all started. 

My mom said that I escaped to the kitchen and told everyone to leave me, “Boot”, and “Oonie” alone.  

“Dudes, who’s the beast using my head so she can stand? Who is allowing this?”

Here she is again. What the fuck?



I don’t even know. 

There were approximately twelve family members stuffed into this beauty. That’s how we rolled (barely). 

Look at how insanely thrilled my grandma was to get a toaster oven for Christmas. 

I shared this in my previous post, but what I didn’t divulge was that that hairy creature sitting on the bookshelf, looking all innocent, had a dick and balls. His girlfriend (not pictured) had you-know-whats. The most disturbing part about all of this was that my grandma and second cousin, Bonnie made them. 



Remember Doris and the tack-in-the-butt incident? This is Doris! You can see the murder in her eyes in this picture. 

I was always quite the fashionista. 

And, a family photo album is just not complete without a photo of the family dog taking the inaugural shit on the new grass. 

69 thoughts on “WTF Family Photos”

  1. No one can enjoy these as much as actual family. Alone, reading this, laughing til tears in my eyes (is the ass” pictured in swim trunks and thongs…what WE called them back in the day…my dad? Looked like his permed hair!?) This was a funny read. Thanks!

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  3. Cole is very unhappy, as he feels he “Was” the only good looking one in the photo! His attorney will be contacting you for defamation of character and he did not sign a media release. He is in agreement, this certainly is a weird family. He knows noone who has a picture of the family dog pooping, please don’t post him with this family anymore!

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  5. This was amazing! Thanks for sharing such gems with us all! As I was going through it, I realized just how normal my baby photo album is haha. I do have one picture of me carrying a 2-4 of Bud Light (I think?) As a 2 year old it’s a little bit of a shock I was that strong! But I am informed that the box was in fact empty but I carried it everywhere that camping trip like it was my new best friend.

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  6. This makes me want to dig out my old family pictures and see what treasures can be found lol – alas, they are all in storage in the US so I won’t have access to them for another couple of years :/

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      1. Me too… I was too worried about losing them in shipment though… But I regret it, I was asking my hubby about getting them out when we travel to the US for holidays this year – but apparently we have to wait until we actually move again before they let us open our storage 🙁

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          1. apparently it has something to do with chain of access or something like that… if something happens to our stuff while in the care of the company they are liable, but I guess we aren’t on the insurance or whatever to have access during the time we are contracted overseas. Besides, where hubby’s company stores stuff will be well out of our way for vacation time anyway :/ If I had known that at the beginning I would have left my pictures out with family so they could have sent them to me as needed.

  7. I was having a pretty shitty day until I read this post, but now I’m smiling so hard. Definitely think you should make a monthly challenge out of this one!

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  10. Oh mi god, those were hysterical. At our wedding someone thought it would be funny to take a pic of the three year old wearing my husband’s top hat. Then it became a thing, 30 different pictures of people wearing my husband’s top hat. It comes down over everyone’s head to their shoulders. LOL

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  14. Maybe part of it’s because I’m already one glass of wine into dinner, but goddamn that photo of your grandpa with the thong cake had me literally snort-laughing!!!! This SO makes me want to find old WTF family photos of my own, of which there are plenty.
    I am literally wiping mascara from my eyes in laughter!! 🙂

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  17. Hi! I found you from suzie81speaks. I saw the title “WTF Family Photos”, and just had to look. I laughed as hard at the title as I did at some of these photos and the descriptions. Love it!

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  18. Your posts always make me smile!! I need to scan all my old photos before we leave the country, so I might be able tio share some soon. My embarrassing ones are mostly from Theatre productions…

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  22. Ugh I love your posts! This really makes me want to get in my car, drive to my mom’s, and go through old photo albums right now. Alas, I’ll have to wait, but it will be done!! Thanks for the giggles!

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  23. This was the best! Now we make sure every picture is perfect before we post it. I loved getting film back and seeing all the bad pictures. Lol. All mine are packed up, but we have a few doozies. The 70’s/80’s were an interesting time. Oh, and you look so much like your dad. It’s adorable.

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    1. LOL! That’s exactly it-we just rolled with the bad pictures, because we had no other choice. The fact that our current generation is lacking bad pictures of themselves is what’s wrong with the world 😂😉. OMG!! I know! It’s crazy how much I look like my crazy Lithuania father!! Gah!

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  24. Ahhh! Absolutely loved this post. Nothing better than old family photos. And seeing some of the furniture and decor from the past makes me wish my mom hadn’t gotten rid of all of her old decor because that’s what I’m totally into now. I’ll have to dig out some of my crazy pictures for everyone to see here soon. 😀

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  26. It resembles every grownups nightmare. The family album comes out, your best beloved is being shown it. With glazed eyes and a tremble to his lip has to get home quick! Your parents begin laughing, like a scene from a Jack Nicholson movie. Your life with him os over, you know without ever being told. Many an album has thwarted love prematurely.

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