Just Call Me Becky Bloomwood

Remember that girl who published a Travel Tips For Idiots post (I linked it in case you haven’t checked it out yet) wherein she emphatically proclaimed that one does not need to purchase all new of everything before a trip? Remember how she said she’d reign it in a bit for her upcoming trip this summer?
Well, since posting those lies, she’s purchased:

  • An IT suitcase (it was on sale on Amazon for only $60, though)
  • A Calvin Klein crossbody (also majorly discounted at Marshall’s-only $50)
  • A travel pillow that can zip into a rectangle or a neck pillow-shape (I mean, come on. Necessary. I also had a coupon. No.brainer)
  • A zippered headphone case (not necessary, but really fun, because it has a little picture of earbuds on it)
  • Floral-print packing cubes (still not sure I’m even going to use packing cubes, but they were only $12, so they basically cost nothing)
  • RFID blocking rose gold-colored wallet (absolutely, without question, necessary. I do not need anyone stealing my identity*)
  • A pashmina scarf (it has myriad uses, so out of all of the purchases, this one was the most practical)
  • A compact teal-colored umbrella (when you’re headed to the British Isles this is a no duh)
  • A pair of Blenders Eyewear sunglasses (because you really need sunnies in England)

I don’t think I need to continue with the nonsense, but while we’re at it, this Idiot Girl still needs:

  • A travel-sized Too Faced eyeshadow palette (it has every color I need PLUS the perfect brown for my balding eyebrows)
  • Headphones (I do not have a Bose budget, but I need a pair that’s comfy and noise eliminating or, at the very least, noise isolating**)
  • Comfy, but not I’m-a-50-year-old-Stein-Mart-addict sandals
  • A cute, but hours-on-a-plane friendly outfit
  • Decent pajamas that won’t scare my travel partners (my current pair are holey and stretched out in all the wrong places)
  • A whole new wardrobe, but I’m leaving this to the bitter end, because I’m not holding out hope that I’ll spontaneously drop 50 pounds (stranger things have happened)

So, I think what I’m trying to say here is that I’m a fucking liar, and it’s impossible to not buy a load of crap when you’re preparing for an extensive trip abroad.
I mean, I guess if you’re a minimalist and you aren’t materialist AF like me, you could probably get off with just a new backpack and a nice pair of walking shoes.
All of this insane buying and hoarding of travel “necessities” reminds me of my favorite book heroine- Becky Bloomwood.

In Sophie Kinsella’s first book in her Confessions of a Shopaholic series, Becky decides, after receiving a shocking credit card bill, she needs to start budgeting, but not before she buys really cute budgeting essentials.
I don’t know if I’ve always been Becky Bloomwood or I’m Becky Bloomwood because of Becky Bloomwood.
Either way, I need a Shopaholics Anonymous STAT.
All of this makes me sound like I’m spending with wild abandon, but really, I’m just buying travel items here are there when I find them and if need be, I just don’t buy food for the week. Really, it’s a win-win (sayonara, 50 pounds).
So, I guess it’s not entirely surprising that I’m still on track to have my trip paid off before the end of the summer *knock on my IKEA particle board coffee table*.
Stay tuned for my “I’m Already Having the Nervous Poos: 18 Unrealistic (and Two Realistic) Travel Worries I’m Currently Obsessing About”
*This travel wallet with thief-repelling properties is now more than ever the smartest buy I’ve made, because some asshole in California stole my debit card number and went to town on $18 worth of food at McDonald’s. Way to really steal someone’s money, idiot! You could have at least made it worth it and gone to Chili’s.
**I was this close to publishing this post with “nose eliminating” instead of “noise eliminating”, because my phone hates me. I almost left it, because if there are headphones that help eliminate the size of someone’s nose while wearing them, I’M SOLD.
So, help me feel like less of a deluded pig…what do you splurge on before a trip?

74 thoughts on “Just Call Me Becky Bloomwood”

    1. Oooh! I brought a notebook to take notes about places and things I saw last time I visited and it was my favorite souvenir! Thanks for reminding me! I also have a HUGE list of books to buy. Just gotta narrow down the possibilities for the plane book ❤️❤️

  1. I bought two bikinis before my trip to Croatia last year and it’s the last time I remeber buying something for a trip, aside from flight tickets! I’m the exact opposite of you… Even when I need something (i.e. running shoes after running 370 mile sin my old ones that are so dead that I injured myself running in them), I procrastinate until the last possible minute until buying it because “do I really need it”? Somehow, it doesn’t make me any richer!
    My mom used to say “the safe doesn’t follow the hearse” (loose translation from French here) meaning that money is meant to be spent. So if it makes you happy, spend away!
    PS: The umbrella was a REALLY smart buy! We’ve had two days of sun in a row this week, we won’t see it before August now!

    1. How funny!!! You’re better than me. I bet you do have more money, hence why you get to travel so much!! I love that saying!! It makes me feel so much better 😜.
      Do you really think there won’t be much sun??

      1. I travelled a lot last year, but we always got really good deals as well so that helps. Lots of that money goes into paying for visas to stay here, too. 😉
        It’s England, there is never much sun… 😉 Even when it’s warm-ish, it’s very humid so not a really pleasant warmth. We don’t have that many days of non-stop rain, but often showers through the day. You get used to it! But someone mentioned wellies or flat boots and yes, they are useful. Though it’s a bit cumbersome for a luggae so maybe buy a cheap pair here? Asda (the British Walmart) often have pairs for £5-10. If you plan on doing lots of walking, maybe some gore-tex walking shoes/boots would be a better investment?

        1. GREAT IDEA!! I’ll need to buy some over there, because there’s no way boots will fit in my luggage!!
          I must have just gotten lucky when I last went as we had most days full of sun!!

  2. Ahhhhh…..there’s something warm & fuzzy about identifying a ‘kindred spirit’ across a crowded room……or on the computer screen…..take your pick! I love this post and I feel ya Sista! As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t go anywhere so I have no remorse/guilt over buying ‘travel items’……..but, if I had all the money I’ve spent just at Amazon alone this past year, I could have probably built the dang garage I’ve whined about NOT having for years every time we get a big snow!!!!!!!!

  3. Ha ha, this is brilliant! The only item I am still concerned about on your list is the sunglasses – I really fear that these may stay in their case during your travels! I pray not, though!
    You should check out the Minimalist Ninja on youtube – she’ll have some great tips about travelling light AF! 😀

  4. At least your slowly accumulating everything over a some-what extended period of time and not all at once. That’s what I’m doing as well to prep for my honeymoon in August to Belize. So far, I’ve purchased a bikini top (have yet to find the perfect bottoms) and 2 pairs of shorts. Oh! And a pair of sunglasses. And a new camera with a waterproof cover and selfie stick for my phone. 🙂

  5. ALL THE THINGS KATIE-BEAR ALL THE THINGGGSSSSS!!!! Lol!! My wedding is coming up in June on an island for 7 days. You know I have to buy EVERYTHING that says “just married” “bride” and all the bullshit. Lol!!! Let’s not talk about bathing suits, sandals, and “sun dresses”. Just shoot me…. I don’t even know what I’m going to do! I’ve already convinced myself I’m not even taking an old pair of underwear lol! Also- all the kids are coming. And they all need new shit too. I think I’m just gonna call this shit off lol!!! I totally feel you in EVERY WAY!!! But you’re gonna have SUCHHHH a great time
    I can’t wait to see photos!!!

    1. OMG. I can’t imagine buying for all the kiddos! I’d do THE SAME THING, though. New shit for everyone!!! And, I understand the new underwear ONLY on a very deep level! 😂😂😂

      1. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂 man we are a MESSSS lol!! No adulting whatsofuckingever. Just buy all the shit! Fuck food! Lol 😂

  6. I Love that book series! I can read that over and over! Just don’t want to unpack all my books. I may need new makeup before my trip since I can’t find mine and maybe a new suitcase or carry-on. I have one, but this is a long trip, so…

  7. Oh yes to that umbrella! When I went to Scotland, it rained every single freaking day!! Although there are these new umbrellas that I saw somewhere, maybe it was a dream? But they had vents in the top? Because not only did it rain every day, it also was super windy and my brand new butterfly and sunflower umbrella got flipped around and turned inside out more times than I could count! But apparently the vents prevent this? If this was just a dream, I really think someone needs to get on designing that haha

    1. “If this was just a dream” 😂😂😂. Girl, you crack me up! Did you go in the summer? Because the first time I went was mid summer and it didn’t rain one day in Scotland!! Not sure if that was abnormal or not!

  8. This post really made me laugh. Good for you, buying the necessary items for your trip, you never know what the weather will be like over here so you will def need both the sunglasses and the umbrella! 🙂

  9. Depends on the trip.
    Road trip with the kiddo: enough junk food to feed Patton’s 5th army. Which is why I make mad time, even when traveling with a child.
    But in general, my number one binge worthy splurge, bags. Way too many bags.

  10. I need one of those wallets!? Where did you get it?
    To make you feel better, before my honeymoon I bought 2 new dresses (even though it was a hiking holiday!) A new bikini, shoes with cats on and socks and pants.
    Oooh and last time I went to France I forgot my coat! In December ! I had to buy a new coat at the airport because I am an idiot.

  11. HAHA I’m a Becky Bloomwood too so I hear ya sis!!
    My dumbest travel purchase was last year, I bought an inflatable unicorn that sits 2 people to go to Spain for the weekend, it cost £50, weighed a tonne and took up most of the space in my suitcase (deflated).
    I did not even blow it up, nope, I lugged that thing all the way back home for it to spend its life in a storage box under my bed. sigh! When will we learn?

    1. I’M DEAD. I can’t stop laughing!! You are HILARIOUS!! I mean. That’s freaking gold! Are we Facebook friends? I just started this Bad Women group and you’d make an amazing addition!

  12. Yep, yep, yep. Unsurprisingly (because you are my twin) I’m also a shopaholic and buy unnecessary crap just because it’s pretty. Before I went to NYC last year, of course I bought a gold crossbody handbag, new diamond studded sandals and a pretty leather passport holder. You know, all those really essential travel buys that you just couldn’t go abroad without 🤦🏻‍♀️

  13. Where do I start? I’m guessing the $18 Mcd’s charge was date night for your thief. How romantic. “Fucking liar”, peed my pants. Idiot Girl (do you know the Laurie Notaro IG’s?). I own 3 or 4 travel pillows and still end up sleeping with my chin to my chest, drool reaching to my navel. My PJ’s are pretty thin, too, and they stink, because their old, not because they aren’t clean. Thanks for the laughs.

  14. Girl, I’m trying so hard not to buy all the cute travel accessories for my trip to Sweden this Summer… I have gotten a travel jewelry case and plug adapters that were on sale… and I’m totally wanting noise canceling headphones and a new neck pillow. I’m also hoping for spontaneous weight loss so I can not only look totally skinny and cute in my vacay pics…. but also have a reason to buy a cute new swimsuit and other outfits lol

      1. I did an Amazon search right after I made that comment. I’ve got two in my cart right now that are blue tooth ones but also come with a cord if you want to hook it up without the blue tooth… both less than $40. I’ll send you a screen shot in messenger

  15. Check out Urbanears for headphones! They are around $100 on the site, but some are cheaper on Amazon(like half price)! I wear them to work out in and they seem to cancel out noise pretty well, though I’ve never used them for travel. (I’m broke–we’re working on it, though.) 😉

  16. I splurge on lotions, scents, and skincare before a trip. Any trip. I use the excuse to pamper myself, but also I really want strangers in whatever new place to think I’m fabulous and glowy and just naturally smell like flowers in a bakery.
    Headphones: I have loved mine for YEARS, they are worth twice the price (in my opinion) and the line has several versions so if you don’t need the full wireless gaming headset that I’ve got the same headphones are available on less expensive options (wired, wireless, with and without the flip-down mic, you name it). https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003VANOFY Husband swears by his Sennheisers—and it certainly seems he can’t hear me when they’re on, hmph—but I never found them as comfortable as my Logitech headphones. And I use them a lot, not just for gaming… this house gets noisy, and sometimes I have to just pop them on and play some quiet music in order to concentrate. Best of all, no sound bleedthrough—others around me can’t hear what I’m listening to and comment on it (in case you’re trying to avoid conversation with your headphones)

  17. Before our move to China (12-hour flight from the west coast) I bought a comfy pair of yoga pants for travel. To be honest, it’s the first pair I’ve ever owned that are long enough and didn’t shrink after washing! I always wear them when I fly now.
    Of course, we also got rid of about 90% of our possessions, including my packing cubes which I could never figure out. How are they useful?

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