What’s Annoying Me Right Now:
So can we talk a minute about food prepping? Um. I hate it. Like so, so much. I hate cooking and since food prepping is like cooking on kale-flavored crack, I’d literally rather clean the moldy hair goblins out of the shower drain than chop shit for hours on one of my precious days off.
Due to my utter distaste for preparing food, I do quasi- prep. I do the absolute fucking bare minimum and then wonder why I end up eating a brownie for lunch instead of garlic butter salmon on a bed of quinoa with steamed organic green beans on the side or whatever fancy shit ya’ll are eating.
I don’t have time for this. Like at all.
I “prepped” a can of peas and a frozen spicy black bean burger as my lunch the other day. Impressive, I know.
Between looking for a side hustle I can do on the couch in my holey leggings, working nine hour days, planning an epic European adventure, trying to maintain this stink hole of a blog, and getting some sleep, food prep just doesn’t fit into the equation.
I’m fully of the impression that if you religiously food prep and this takes up a good majority of your Sunday, this is your hobby, man. Your hobby is preparing healthy fare that all too often ends up tasting like rabbit food for your future self.
I’m not even hating, but that’s literally the worst-sounding hobby ever (really, I’m just jealous you have enough commitment to lose weight and be healthy that you dedicate time to proactive practices that help you be successful).
If you full-on food prep and do anything else besides go to work and sleep, you’re a Goddamn superhuman and I’ll pay you to do my food prepping.
Thanks a million!
(Can you just make sure to pan sear the chicken with lots of seasoning? Leftover blah baked chicken makes me gag.)
Are You Fucking Kidding Me?
Why do I lose weight first in the lamest possible places on my body before any real dent is made in the obvious places?
So like, thanks, body for thinking I needed to lose the fat from my forearms before getting to work on my fat stomach that people think is housing a baby. Sounds right.
Or maybe we could have started with my flabby arms that knock art off the walls when they get carried away?
What’s that? My knee caps were first priority? Oh…
Where’s My Xanax
Speaking of flabby bits.
I’m in need of a new bathing suit for the Cinque Terre and I’m low-key dreading it like the plague (I know, poor me).
The thought of trying on bathing suits with the paper crotch protectors that never make me feel protected from the last person’s crotch makes my skin crawl. I know you try on bathing suits without your underwear WHICH IS HIGHLY FROWNED UPON, KAREN.
I’m also not looking forward to seeing the fat I was going to lose 18 different times over the years seeping out of every edge of the only bathing suit I could find that didn’t scream “64 year-old overweight retiree living the dream in Boca Raton, Florida”.
Oy.
Now I feel bad for the person who has to try on the bathing suit after me (because you know I’m not buying that floral-couch-pattern-from-the-70s monstrosity).
HATE bathingsuits. Even when they are a necessity. Good luck! (Yeah, and those crotch protecter things are really wierd and icky.)
Yup. HATE. The whole process sucks a big one.
You should become a Duggar… besides the obvious drawbacks, at least you wouldn’t have to wear a bathing suit… LMAO
BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I know I know… I should start a comedy blog too ;P
You should, but don’t you already have like 10 blogs you’re managing? 😜😉
Haha pretty much!! But I’m only funny on them sometimes LOL! Maybe after nursing school… then I’ll have time to make another blog 😛
Lol!!
I meal prep every week and I’m not kidding, it takes all of 20 minutes on Sunday to make 10 meals (5 lunches for my husband and myself). If you want some recipes, let me know! The key is to throw your meat (chicken or beef tips are my go to) in a crock pot for most of the day. 🙂
We usually do something similar, but I usually just prep every night with the leftovers we make in the crockpot. It still sucks! Haha!
Good luck with the suits. Maybe find a nude beach, go all Euro, and you won’t have to worry about buying one!
OH JAYSUS! I don’t want to do that to the good people of Europe 🤣🤣🤣😱😱😱🙈🙈
This is actually a really good idea! You could totally avoid the bathing suit shopping nightmare! 😀
lol!!! I just couldn’t! I’d have to do some serious dieting and preparing for that!! 🤣🤣🤣
Even with all the weight I’ve lost, I still hate swimsuits because they remind me of HOW MUCH GODDAMNED WEIGHT I STILL NEED TO LOSE! I’m not bitter or anything…
SAAAAAAAME! This is precisely my problem 😫😫
I would rather ptep veg than even look at myself in a swimsuit … as for a bikini a berkkah would be mire fitting. Tip! Buy leaves rather than lettuces and baby plum tomato rather than big. Carrotts battoned and Mange tou, pre cut green beans and tiny charlotte potatoes. Rinse well and plate the salad or rinse well and no peel steam the veg. You may pay a few pence/dimes more but save time. If anyone moans or says they do not like peel … tell them its roughage and the skin contains the most vitamins. If it is still a problem let them cook!
Yes!!! We do try to buy pre-cut a lot. Ain’t nobody got time for chopping veg!
Please edit my typos i’s become o’s when i am on my phone. Fat finger alert!
I translated it! Hehe!
Sorry I didn’t think of this earlier – have you looked into online English teaching as your side gig? You’re already a teacher, so you’re qualified, and you’re a native English speaker, so your coveted. There are several Chinese online teaching companies, and the hours wouldn’t conflict with your current job. (dadaabc, vipkids, and 51talk are the 3 biggest) You may need an ESL certificate.
Regarding swimsuits, don’t let American swimsuit bias define you. If this is for the European trip, remember Europeans are much more forgiving of the fact that the human body is beautiful in it’s various forms and won’t judge you for having curves!
I have actually looked into VIPKIDS and the hours I’d have to be available are crazy early or late. It would majorly conflict with my teaching, I’m afraid.
Are the Italians included in that outlook on imperfect bodies?! 😉
I am with you on hating bikini/bathing suit shopping. I feel like a fatty no matter what my weight is. I think I’ve seen too many victoria secret-like models to ever feel like i’m skinny enough.
BUT I found I like tankinis best. They are like bikinis with tank tops, so I don’t have to show off my fluorescent white belly to the world!!
LOVE tankinis! They are all I wear. I also like to cover my unsightly thighs with shorts or a skirt, but they always ride up anyway so I’ll probably end up ditching that look. People can just deal with my thighs 🤷🏻♀️🤣
To be fair, buying a swimsuit is much worse than wearing one! At lease outside you don’t have to look in terribly lit mall mirrors(!)
SOOOO TRUE! And, I plan to have my swimsuit cover on 99% of the time!
Oo yeah, bathing suit season. 🙁 I used to be able to just not go swimming, but now I am signing my son up for lessons, so..I kind of need one. 🙁 And David! I love that character on Schitt’s Creek!!!
Yeah, I usually avoid swimming too! David is the best!!!!
I love to cook, it relaxes me. Yeah, I’m one of those weird people who loves to be in the kitchen creating delicious morsels. I can also fold a fitted sheet. Some people consider me a witch. LOL.
I don’t do bathing suits. I wouldn’t want to blind anyone or make them feel like they have to scrape their eyes with a metal brush. LOL…I’ll just stick to stretchy shorts and a cover shirt. If I really had to have a bathing suit though, I’d get one from Goodwill. Who wants to pay $60 -100 dollars or more for a new one. You gotta stay thrifty, Ms. Cupcake. lol. I enjoyed your blog thanks for the laughs.
I truly wish I loved cooking. I really envy all of you who enjoy it and are good at it!
If you can fold a fitted sheet you are 100% a witch 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’m hoping to find a Target or Old Navy bathing suit special. I HATE spending serious cash on a piece of clothing I despise wearing 😬😫🤣
You are so right with the food prep thing. Spending so much precious time chopping when it’s eaten in 5 minutes. There are more important things in life x funny post x
Riiiiiiiight?! 😆✊🏻
I’m really bad at food prep, but not because I don’t have the time (I’m unemployed; I have plenty of time). It’s just… I don’t want to eat food that was prepared six days ago. A lot of the meals I see people prepping taste best when they’re fresh and hot–microwave-reheated broccoli and lemon-pepper salmon sounds fucking disgusting. A lot of this food just doesn’t last that long. Like, your 7 neatly arranged identical veggie-platter Tupperware meals make for a pretty Instagram picture, but that avocado is going to brown out and turn to mush in forty-five seconds, Karen.
You know what preps well? Pasta. Tortilla wraps. CARBS. STARCHY CARBS PREP VERY WELL, BUT WE’RE NOT ALLOWED TO EAT THOSE ANYMORE, ARE WE???
Dieting is a joke. Meal prepping is a bigger joke. Pre-made salads are 2 for $5 at Albertson’s. I’ll just pick one up on my way to class if I’m really worried about bringing something healthy with me.
LOL. Literally ALL.OF.THIS. I HATE reheated meat so much. Chicken, mainly. It’s so effing nasty. Thank you for reminding me of a very credible reason meal prepping sucks hot sweaty ones 🤣