Today I was reminded why I never wanted to be that teacher who nurses their coffee all day. COFFEE BREATH STANKS.
I distinctly remember every single teacher who would lean over me, praising my hard work, with their breath from burning garbage hell. I always wondered how they couldn’t tell their breath was peeling varnish off the desk tops, but I could? If I can smell your breath from a foot away, how can you not smell that God-awful air coming out directly under your nose? How??
Stank Breath Unawareness (SBU) is a very real phenomenon, and 99% of the cases involve teachers. It’s true.
Today, I was pulling students to the kidney table to assess their phonics knowledge. Every time they got a letter sound or vowel pattern wrong, I would say it correctly for them and then ask them to say the sound with me.
After overly emphasizing the ‘aw’ vowel pattern for *Sally, she had a very pained look on her face. My first thought when this look appears on my students’ faces is always, “Oh no! He/she is gonna blow chunks!”. Then my knee-jerk reaction is to recoil quickly while trying to play it cool, like, “I’m good-you’re good-it’s-all-good-I’m-not-at-all-terrified-of-bodily-fluids-not-at-all-I’m-just-gonna-stand-over-here”.
As I’m assessing the situation, I become distinctly aware that Sally is basically mirroring me. Exactly. She’s doing the exact same thing as me. She has a pained, grossed-out look on her face that’s she’s trying to disguise with a super-fake-it’s-all-good smile. What? Is it me??? What the hell…
Yeah. I have teacher breath.
Getting keys to your classroom, or welcoming your students on the first day of school is not when you first become a teacher. You become a teacher the day you disgust a student with your coffee breath. It’s only true.
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Rants, Ramblings, and Regrets
Coffee breath trumps non-caffeinated me. BECAUSE I BITE
As do most teachers too. That’s why coffee wins every time.
Coffee is to air as money is to shoes. Or something .
Hahahahahaha something like that! 😂👍
Hahaha…I’m reading this as I disgust over my own coffee breath, I’m not a teacher though. Because this is the first thing I read today, I can handle the rest of the day. Thanks for the laughs
Hahaha my pleasure. Where in the world are you? It’s evening here in the states.
Because I like being mysterious, I’m not going to tell you. Because I have no self-control, I’m going to tell you anyway…Philippines. I’m just glad I decided to read one blog before going to class 😉
LOL! So far away, so awesome! I love that people all over the world read and can relate to what I write ☺️👍
Haha looking forward to reading more 😉
Yay!!! Thank you! I am looking forward to reading more of your work 😊👍
Hahaha again. You think your breath’s bad. You should smell my morning “cat poop breathe”. Or… maybe not.
“Cat poop breath” 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Haha…I didnt realize I used the word “cat” !!!
LOL! I know EXACTLY what “cat poop breath” smells like though!!!!!
See … we are alike!!!
Hahahaha SO ALIKE!
Ah, the dreaded teacher’s breath. I remember being the little impressionable jerk I was, telling my mother how bad my computer lab teachers breath was… Its an epidemic. I agree, 100%. But coffee = life? I’d be torn, with a pocketful of breath mints.
It certainly is an epidemic 😂😭 and the problem totally is that coffee=life. Absolutely! I am just chewing gum, breaking rules like a rebel!
Teacher coffee breath! You just ruined my morning bring back the horrors of junior high!
Hahahahaha sorry!
Aah..so so soo many memories all at once!! 😀
LOL!!!! 😂👍👌