My First FabFitFun Box

Ya’ll! I finally broke down and joined every other basic bitch and got me a FabFitFun box. It was a splurge (even at the discounted price of $39.99) that I really didn’t need, but TREAT YO SELF! 
I love, love, love the excitement that exists when you know a package is headed your way. It’s why I do Snack Crate and Ipsy, and why I order far too often from Amazon Prime, Zulily, and many others I’m too ashamed to list.
I decided to spare everyone a cringe-worthy Tori Spelling-esque “unboxing” video. I’m super awkward on film, and so many other *greats* like Snooki and Teresa Giudice are doing video “unboxings” for your viewing pleasure. 
So, let’s just get on with it, eh? 

What a beautiful fucking sight. This is totally staged, btw. How I really found my box was dented, dirty, and wedged into the bushes. I think our mail delivery people just toss our packages from their truck. It’s the only explanation.
The very same day I received my box, my darling guy got me this sweet and quite apropos treat, and somehow, my FabFitFun box didn’t seem quite as fabulous.
10000% my kind of gift
So, when I was done feeling all the feels, I finally got around to opening my box. 
The packaging is nice, and I like how they add the paper “grass” (what is that shit called?).
What I didn’t like is that these “high end” items come in mass-produced-feeling  plastic. This type of packaging takes away the “expensive” feel of the items.
Now might be the time, especially if you’re not familiar with the concept, to mention that FabFitFun profess that their $49.99 box is worth $200+.
More on that as we continue.
Let me show you my perfectly staged photo of the contents. Aren’t I so talented in such a basic-bitch-taking-a-photo-for-Insta-way?

Now, let’s review each item and their supposed cost. 

The MER SEA & CO scarf is one of the items in the box that I feel lives up to its apparent cost. Even so, there is no way in hell I’d ever intentionally buy a $98 scarf. With Target, Marshall’s and TJ Maxx’s amazingly low priced on-trend pieces, I can get a decent scarf for $12. 
I asked my live-in photographer (boyfriend) to snap a couple shots of me in my new scarf. What you will notice in the images is that the scarf is behemoth (maybe that’s why it’s so expensive-each one is made from 50 polyester trees) and that my Blog-Instagram Boyfriend was not having it, as I now have 82 random, blurry images of me getting ready to pose. Great job, Babe! 
Had to pick off all of the paper confetti from the box that was stuck on the scarf.
After spending “10 minutes” positioning the scarf in the mirror. 67 of the 82 images are of my wide ass at said mirror.
What an awesome, artistic action shot of my three chins!
Really glad he got such a great shot of my Bingo Wings!
After all of the prep, I was not pleased with the photo, but the photographer was 100% not having it anymore.
But, guess what? This beast of a scarf can totally be worn as a shirt! Fucking score!

Also pictured in the above images is The Jetset Diaries cable knit beanie. This is probably my favorite item, because my day 4 hair loves the crap out of beanies. This came-in-plastic beanie is supposed to be worth $49, and I just can’t. I bet you all that right now, this very minute, in any Target across the nation, sits a black beanie, almost identical to the one from the box and it’s $10. Again, why is a thin cable-knit beanie $49? Who are the idiots buying $50 beanies? 

Next up is the Mytagalongs hot and cold pack ($15). I am actually really excited about this, because I totally needed another ice pack to add to the 20 already in the freezer. The reason: IT SAYS, “ICE ICE BABY”. 

This was totally appreciated, because BUTT WIPES ARE EVERYTHING, YO. 

I can’t speak too much for these products, as I have yet to use them. I am totally excited to try the apple cider vinegar hair rinse, though! I’m also really looking forward to never using the lipstick, because I don’t wear lipstick. The Whish Beauty mud mask is valued at $48, the DPHue rinse at $35, and the TrΓ¨stique lipstick at $28. 

The Deco Miami lavender cuticle oil is just too cute. When I was first opening the box, I thought it was nail polish. I was so bummed, because I get gel manicures, so nail polish is useless to me. When I used my reading decoding skills and saw that it was cuticle oil, I was giddy. My cuticles are inexcusably ghastly! The oil is priced at $12.50 and is the only reasonably priced item in the box (save for the Cottonelle buttwipes). 

The imm-Living ceramic and wire geometric heart jewelry holder is the exact thing I’d use my last $5 to buy at Ross. It really is adorable and is already proudly on display on my vanity. That said, IT’S A PIECE OF GARBAGE. 
When I got it, there was a nub of ceramic in one of the holes where the wire base goes. I had to take some skinny scissors and jam it loose. Even then, the hole was too tight (that’s what he (?) said) and upon jamming the metal into the hole some of the “metal” flaked off. 

This cheaply made piece of poo is priced at $33. Fuck me.
I saved the coup de grΓ’ce for last.
When I first saw the fall box on Instagram, I saw a gym bag that read, “Will Workout For Cupcakes”. That sealed the deal. I had to have it.
Well, in my box I got a Walmart special that reads, “Meet Me at the Barre”. I’ve never been to a barre fitness class, and this bodacious bod has never, ever been confused for that of a ballerina’s. There’s no way I’d ever carry this bag. Just embarrassing. 
Not only this, FabFitFun is claiming that the thin canvas Private Party bag is worth $59. Excuse my French, but FUCK YOU VERY MUCH. 
I don’t shop at Walmart and haven’t for a solid four years, but I guaran-fucking-tee that they have a similar bag for no more than $10. If not Walmart, Wish is guaranteed to have it for $1.50. 
So, I’m still laughing that Private Party and FabFitFun thinks this bag is worth $59. 
Final Thoughts 
I have a really, really, really effing hard time believing the items that came in my box truly total $377.50. If this is indeed an accurate sum, I’m appalled at what is deemed high quality just because it has a high price. If this is the true state of the world now, maybe I can start harvesting my boyfriend’s belly button hair and sell it as “organic inner ear warmers”. I bet I could get 40 bucks per pair. 
I do believe I got my $40 worth, though. For sure. I just don’t like being taken for a schmuck. 
***When I realized that I didn’t get the cupcake bag, I immediately emailed FabFitFun and asked if I could make an exchange. I explained that I was Fatty McCupcakes and that I needed the cupcake bag. I said I’d write a blog post about my box and everything.
They got back to me very quickly and said that they’d exchange the bag “as a one time courtesy”. No, “We’d love for you to write a blog post about us, and not only will we send you the “Will Workout For Cupcakes” bag, we’d like to offer you a job as a paid blogger for FabFitFun” or anything. Rude.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful they are exchanging the bag, but the wording “as a one time courtesy” sounded kinda bitchy. 
Don’t let me discourage you. It really is a fun way to spend $39.99-$49.99. Just remember, it’s Reba Fancy, not Real Fancy. 

61 thoughts on “My First FabFitFun Box”

  1. Was laughing all the way through this! I think you need to sack your photographer! I saw Megsquats review this same box on youtube not long ago, but I don’t recall her talking much of individual prices. I think I was more disgusted with the price of that wire thing. Wtf?? Glad you’ll be getting a cupcake bag though πŸ™‚

  2. Kaite – I would have LOVED a video of all these emotions haha. I think the only thing I would have enjoyed in that box is the cuticle oil. Although I am kind of in love with the one I have now, which was $6 and it’s lasted almost a year and it’s only half empty. I’m glad you are getting your bag switched, but you are so right in that it was super rude of them not to offer you a job. Pppffftt they don’t know what they are missing out on!

          1. I do both! Im taking a break until Christmas from the gel and have asked for Essie colours from Santa πŸŽ…. Ive realised that a lot of my design tools (stampers, guides, stencils) work best with regular but they dont have the same ease/glossy shine as the gel lol

          2. I LOVE Ipsy. It’s only $10 a month so I barely notice. I haven’t bought mascara in SO long, because I’ve gotten at least three in the last six months. Also, I had eyelid primer on my shopping list, but I got it in my bag this month!! SCORE. The only thing I don’t like is they kept sending me lipstick. But, the month before last, I got a color I’d actually wear. Unless it’s nude, I’m not wearing it.

  3. I just laughed out loud in public as I read this post!! I now have a new dream…I want to get married just so I can have a bridal shower and get all the presents, then I want you to review each one and, of course, have your guy photograph the entire event. AMAZING! Thanks for the belly laugh to begin my day!

  4. Omg. Cracking up. I would also buy all this shit at Homegoods or Marshall’s. I’m glad you are at least getting your cupcake bag, being that they are so fucking courteous and all.

  5. I laughed out loud at the “piece of poo” comment. Maybe it’s because I secretly love potty humor, but that bag really does live up to your definition. I have to say, those inflated costs on stuff like this really get my goat (and where does THAT expression come from I wonder??) Anyway. Agree. You got your money’s worth. Lying to people and calling it “retail price” is truly outrageous. No one in their right mind would pay that kind of money unless it was the last beanie on earth and beanies were required by law for some reason. Loved the post–by all means keep ordering stuff and writing about it (in moderation as appropriate.) πŸ™‚

    1. LOL! I wonder where that phrase comes from too! I was equally annoyed, I just hid it with humor. I couldn’t shake the total annoyance at their ploy the whole time I was “unboxing”. I wonder how many people actually believe them? Or, if the prices are real, how many people actually over spend just because it’s “cool”? πŸ˜’

      1. I did Stitch Fix for about a year. I liked a lot of the clothes–and better was the not-shopping. But, I felt violated in a way because $60 for an unusable scarf that I have to buy because otherwise the rest of the “box” would cost an ungodly amount of money eventually soured me on the whole experience. I felt trapped. I hate that. So I broke up with them.

  6. Literally the funniest thing I’ve read all day. You crack me up. The most honest review I’ve ever read. Bit sad you didn’t film the β€˜unboxing’ that beauty bloggers seem to do on Insta #barf

  7. If this is the true state of the world now, maybe I can start harvesting my boyfriend’s belly button hair and sell it as β€œorganic inner ear warmers”.
    This has got to be the funniest fucking thing I’ve seen on the internet in ages!

  8. 1.) You are so beautiful 2.) Yea, like, don’t “one time courtesy” shit. It makes it out to be like you are super high maintenance and they are teaching you boundaries lol

    1. I actually know why they say “one time courtesy” (it was explained to me in unfortunate detail when I worked an adult office job) and it proves how little large companies understand humans. It’s actually supposed to make you feel ~*~special~*~ like, “Oh, they don’t normally do this, but they’re doing it for *me* because they want to keep my business.” Whereas in reality, it makes you think, “Well, so sorry have bothered you with my piddly-ass problems. Sorry you had to break your precious rules for me. I know how hard it is to ship a fucking bag.”

  9. I desperately need a gym bag that says “Will Work Out For Cupcakes” for many obvious reasons. But, I think I would rather by a $10 gym bag from Target and just embroider it on because $59 for a GYM BAG is highway robbery. Especially a bag that is only 20″ x 9″ (according to Private Party’s website) and that would hold, like, my shoes and a pair of leggings.

  10. Hilarious! I’ve bought similar in the past, when I was younger, (I’ve matured a lot in my 40’s) and I’ve often wondered how they think I’m getting a bargain.
    Do you really like the jewellery holder? Maybe it looks nice in real life! Love the scarfs though πŸ‘

  11. This review is hilarious, and one of the many reasons I adore you. Coincidentally, my mom just got the same box! She tried to pawn off the gym bag on me, but I declined because 1. I don’t go to the gym… and 2. just, no.

  12. Lmfao!!!! I made the suicidal mistake of reading this while driving! I almost killed myself when you mentioned selling your guy’s belly button hairs 🀣🀣 I used to get Ipsy and Birchbox until I started noticing I had 3 bathroom drawers of bullshit I had not and would never use and another drawer of tiny ipsy bags to give to my daughter for her crayons lol! There’s always that ONE thing that makes you tingle with superficial feels but the rest is ridiculous. It IS exciting though! But I’m all amazon prime literally ALL the time. And IT IS BITCHY, the way they say the one time courtesy comment- like I can picture some bitch rolling her eyes at you and calling you some obscene name lol. I’d be pissed off too! Fuck them!

    1. Girl, don’t kill yourself!! This world needs you!!! I feel you with the millions of Ipsy bags! There’s been maybe three that have been cute enough to use. Amazon Prime is EVERYTHING 😍😍.

  13. Happy #ThrowbackThursday Katie!
    I laughed the first time I ready this…and now I’ve seen it again I am mostly just happy that you got that cupcake bag!
    Did you cancel your subscription, or will you gte a second box in the mail soon?

  14. I love this! I’ve always wondered what kind of stuff came in the FabFitFun boxes. I tried Ipsy for a while, but I just didn’t use the products enough to justify it. So I’ll stick with my YoungLiving and AdoreMe for my basic needs.

  15. Ha! My favorite line: “maybe I can start harvesting my boyfriend’s belly button hair and sell it as β€œorganic inner ear warmers”. I bet I could get 40 bucks per pair.!” ROTFL! I’d actually like one of those “you are my favorite pain in the ass” things for my desk – do you think my students would be offended?

Leave a Reply