Tag: blog awards

One Lovely Blog 

I was nominated by, The Cake is a Liar for The One Lovely Blog Award. I’m new to following this blogger, so I’m pretty stoked to read more posts. How can someone not feel instantly drawn to know more about a blog with a baked good in the name? I mean, really. Love. Thank you, lady. 
I’m supposed to share 7 facts about myself, post the award picture, and nominate 15 bloggers for the award. I’m going to do one of those things. I’m a real rebel. 
Actually. 
I’m really lazy. The mobile version of WordPress makes it way too hard to add links in my posts. It took me 3 days just to get The Cake is a Liar in my post as a link (notice it’s not a link the second go round. Yeah). It’s so hard and I just don’t wanna. So, if I follow you, comment on your blog, or regularly like your posts, you’re cool as shit. So, you’re nominated! Yay! One love. 
Also, I tried to copy and paste and I tried to save the pic, and it would not cooperate. So, no effing picture. Can you tell my eye is twitching? 
I’ll just get to the facts you’re so anxiously awaiting. So, without further ado. 

  1. I’m really into Steampunk. Corsets, lace-up boots, bubble gun, top hat adorned with a mermaid riding a steam-powered accoutrement, metal, lace, and octopi. That about sums it up.
  2. Speaking of dressing up, I’m kind of into more than just Steampunk. ‘Kinda’ meaning ‘obsessed’. I’ve been: Vampire Mary Todd Lincoln, Civil War era “Lady of the Night” zombie, Wonder Woman, Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas, Runner Zombie, Poison Ivy, Punk Rock Zombie, Punk Rock Vampire, and Batgirl. All created and put together by me. I know…
  3. I’m almost 80% gray. I’ve had to dye my hair due to premature white bastards since I was 21. Just recently, gray hair has become trendy. All I want to say to the girls who go to a salon, sit for hours under a sweaty cape, and pay upwards of $100 to attain what I work so hard to cover is: You cray. That is all. 
  4. When I’m in a really cranky mood and one too many students turn in utter no-effort-crap, it takes everything in me to not just write, NOPE across the page.
  5. I love sickly sweet alcoholic beverages: moscato, framboise, Moscow Mules. The sweeter, the drunker. 
  6. I also love dark beer. If I drink beer, it better put some course black hair on my chest, or it’s weak shit. I will never say ‘no’ to a dark, creamy beer you practically have to chew. 
  7. I’ve recently become obsessed with those videos where they make something insanely ridiculous like, chocolate-dipped bacon-covered jalapeño brownies, in an accelerated speed, with adorable unicorn kitchen decor. Can anything be better? The answer is ‘no’. 

Can you tell I’m an exhausted teacher and it’s almost Friday, and all I want is an entire bottle of wine, and half of a sheet cake? 

Just a Freaking Ray of Sunshine-An Award

  
I was nominated by the always fabulous Carrots in My Carryon to participate in the Sunshine Blog Award. I love talking about myself. Just being honest. Conveniently, I’m also super creepy-curious about others, so asking really pointed, possibly embarrassing, questions is my forte! Yay! Here we go! 
The Rules:

  • Thank the person who nominated you in a blog post
  • Answer the 11 questions set by the person who nominated you
  • Nominate 11 blogs to receive the award, and write them 11 new questions

  
1. Describe to me, in detail, your favorite pizza.  (Bonus points if you can make it sound sultry.)
My ideal pizza has a nice solid, substantial crust. Not too thin, not too thick. The color has to be right too. Not too pale, not too dark. Just right-in-the-middle firmness. My ideal crust has to satisfy me as it’s the foundation for the rest of the pizza relationship. Next, it’s all about the sauce. Weak, thin sauce is unacceptable. I want a zesty, robust, wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am experience. Knock my socks off with that ish. The toppings don’t really matter to me. As long as the base is solid, everything else just comes together. 
2.  Congratulations!  You just won a boat.  What do you name her?
I happen to already know that boats are usually named for women, but not my boat. I would name my boat ‘The Gary’. Gary is my uncle and he was always our captain on my grandma’s boat. Every summer. Forever. I think boats, I think Captain Uncle Gary. It’s just how it is. 
3.  INTRUDER ALERT!  Someone’s breaking into your house!  What do you grab to fend him off? 
What do I grab? I’m already out the window, running down the street. Oh.Hell.No. 
4.  What is your least favorite household chore?
CLEANING THE TOILET. It’s germy. There are usually stray pubes adorning the bowl or they’re fastened to the under seat. There are tiny toilet paper poop balls littered behind the seat. People defecate inside it and I have to clean it. Toilet cleaning is, quite possibly, the worst thing to ever happen to anyone. Hands down. Anything that has poop in, around, or on it is NOT my favorite.
5.  A stranger hands you $100 and one condition:  you have to spend it on something COMPLETELY frivolous, or a puppy dies.  What do you spend it on?
Oh girl, what do I NOT spend it on? I master in the art of frivolity. Shoes. Cute shoes that hurt my feet. Every single product in any Bath & Body Works at any time. A Michael Kors purse. A day of pampering at a spa. Eyelash extensions. Full body hair removal. Oh. Wait. It’s only $100. I was totally spending $100,000…
6.  Say something spiritual about doing laundry.
It’s the bane of existence. Is that spiritual? 
7.  What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten (on purpose?)
Haggis with “neeps and tatties”!
8.  What’s the oldest thing in your fridge right now?
A moldy lemon. It’s grown around and become one with the top rack. It looks comfortable. I don’t want to disturb it. 
9.  Describe your sleeping space. 
I MUST have a fan on at all times. For the sound, and for the constant air in my face. It’s up there with my face shaver as my most important possession. My bed has precisely 12 pillows for two people. I have a down feather pillow top mattress and a down feather comforter. My sleep is all that matters, so it has to be top-notch. 
10. Thrill rides:  Yes or no, and why or why not?
Um no. If you can guarantee I won’t die or feel sick afterwards, I’d consider it. I’m zero fun. 
11. What’s your favorite joke?
Me trying to give up cake-like consistency baked goods. It just ain’t gonna happen. 
My nominees are…

  1. Cat in the Cactus
  2. Kimboxin
  3. A Wandering Memory
  4. Karlaland
  5. Island Smile
  6. Babysteps22
  7. atalossforwordz
  8. lifeofmon
  9. afunnythinghappened
  10. A Couple Talks
  11. sfarnell

Heeheehaha. Now for MY questions…
1. If you could have one superpower what would it be, and why? 
2. Describe your ideal Friday night. 
3. What is the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to you? 
4. Describe your High School experience in 4 words. 
5. What is in your bag/pocket right now? 
6. Biggest fashion mistake? 
7. If you could go back and relive one experience, what would it be?
8. Most embarrassing song in your ITunes? 
9. You have a year, unlimited resources, support, and 1 million dollars. How would you fix our world’s problems? 
10. Your favorite movie and why?
11. What’s the worst part about getting older? 
I went easy on ya’ll. I totally could have gotten creepy! These are easy, so join in on the fun!