Tag: food addiction

Let Katie Eat Cake

Seriously.
Where there is cake, you will find me salivating like a rabid dog with ADHD. I just cannot resist the pull of cake. Cannot. I have tried, dammit. I have avoided social gatherings. I have declined birthday party invites and event offerings. I have specifically planned my grocery store trips in order to avoid the baked goods section. I have been good. Seriously.
But cake happened.
Continue reading “Let Katie Eat Cake”

Small Triumphs 

I’m trying to live a healthier lifestyle, despite being Fatty McCupcakes. It’s a process and, if I may, I’d like to compare it to withdrawals addicts experience. Yes, really. My mind craves the sweet carb-y goodness of cupcakes, but my body can’t take the abuse any further. It’s a real battle, an immense struggle. I would like to share how I’ve made some (subtle) changes to my frame of mind and behavior. 
1. I ate one Girl Scout cookie. Not the whole box. Win.
2. Instead of purchasing a new IPhone, I preordered the Fitbit Alta. I.cannot.wait.until.it.arrives.
  My phone looks like this and, still, I chose the Fitbit. That is true dedication, my friends. 
3. I ate one cup of Multigrain Cheerios with 3/4 cup nonfat milk and four strawberries for breakfast today. AND I didn’t go back for three more cups of cereal to eat with the rest of the milk, either. 
 I eat my cereal in a mug so it looks like I have more than I really do. Genius, right?
4. I went on a walk four times last week. It felt good to be outside, inhaling the cool air tinged with the smell of fireplace. It felt good to get my blood pumping, muscles working. 
  
  
5. Perhaps due to my better eating choices and physical exercise, I didn’t get a premenstrual migraine this month for the first time in six months. 
Small gains that may seem silly to some, but these little things have given me the motivation to keep on, keepin’ on. 
#fattymccupcakesgetsfit
 

Why You Gotta Be Like That, Carbs? 

Do you ever wish you had a gluten intolerance, or some crazy food allergy that restricts your diet to chicken broth and carrot sticks? Like, legit all your stomach can tolerate is steamed spinach? 
Maybe I’m being insensitive to people who really suffer from food intolerances, but…YA’LL ARE LUCKY BISHES. 
“Would you like some of this delicious homemade bacon beer macaroni and cheese?” I used craft beer, the good bacon, and every single type of cheese on Earth.”
“Wow. I would, but white pasta gives me fiery explosive surprise diarrhea. Cheese makes me so constipated I have to be hospitalized for potentially fatal blockage. Bacon makes me break out in painful hives and my head blows up like the Elephant Man. Thanks for offering, though.” 
How easy and wonderful would it be if there were a legit reason to not eat fattening, delicious food? Forget the fact that you would be healthier and svelte, I need a painful agonizing reason to say no. Otherwise, this would be my response to the above question: 
“Hargphumth”
And I’m gone. I’m either knocking people over to get to said food and/or I’m running down the street with the whole pan of mac and cheese (I’ll return your Le Creuset. Chill.)
Did you know that there is actually a recipe for beer bacon mac and cheese? Good ol’ Pinterest. It even has garlic (too bad it makes me gassy).