WTF Wednesday: Rant Life

In an attempt to post more regularly, I thought I’d bring back my WTF Wednesday series. I’m not sure I’ll always have enough WTF rants to fill up every Wednesday slot for the foreseeable future, but I’ll try.

UM, WAIT, WHO ARE WE KIDDING HERE?

Of COURSE I’ll have enough to rant about. Complaining is one of my absolute favorite things to do. (Well, aside from guiltily stuffing my face with enough carbs to feed a small village in one sitting.) And, I seem to always have a complaint or ten on hand. So, buckle up, babes!

I’m going to split up my rants into three categories: What’s Annoying Me Right Now, Are You Fucking Kidding Me?, and Where’s My Xanax? for ease of categorizing my issues.

So, let’s get this party started, eh?

What’s Annoying Me Right Now

So, if you know me personally, it’s no secret that I’m looking for side work. I’m specifically looking for writing jobs, but thanks a million for the several suggestions I’ve received that strip clubs are always hiring. As nice as that suggestion is, I really don’t think third grade teachers should side hustle at The Boobie Bungalow. Also, I don’t need to have the guilt of giving some poor old, lonely dude a heart attack right as he’s struck completely blind. I just can’t have that on my conscience right now.

So, I’ve been creeping Indeed like that weirdo who’s the first to like all of your Insta posts (who are you even?).

I’ve applied to so.many.freelance.writing.jobs.it.isn’t.even.funny.

The only two I’ve heard back from are total busts.

The first wanted a peppy, inspired video of why I would be a good fit for their company. Um. There is a very good reason I chose blogging (I.E. WRITING) over vlogging: I have crazy eyes and a face only blogging would love.

So, I had to pass on that one. You’re welcome, whoever would’ve had to watch that video.

The second company to contact me was an educational company looking for writers.

Sounds like the perfect fit, right?!

Let me just list the BS I went through over the last few days with this company (everything I say here, I’d not hesitate to share with them, FYI):

1. For the first informational webinar I signed up for, the host never joined. Legit, just didn’t show. NOT exactly the best first impression.

2. During the second (successful) attempt to participate in the mandatory webinar, the owner told us we could start that day and to email her if we were interested. Alright!

3. After emailing her and not hearing anything back, I sent an email the next day to the person who scheduled the webinar to check to make sure the email I wrote down was correct. She responded with, “Susie Ann (not her real name) is very busy. I’m sure you’ll hear from her.” Maybe don’t tell us we can start that very day then?

4. After finally hearing back from the owner of the company, they got me “started” in their system they use to write in, but gave ZERO explanation for how to work within the system. I’m not a stupid person, but I do need basic directions to brand new things.

5. It took WAY too long to hear from this person on how to proceed. In fact, I spent the better part of a snow day off of work trying to figure out where to write and post, because it all made no sense. This was not how I wanted to spend my day off from being at work. I was mad, ya’ll.

6. After asking for some assistance for how to navigate, I was told to ask the super helpful woman from before. Um. No thanks. I’ll just bow out here.

So, I’ve decided to walk away from this “opportunity”. My boyfriend and one of my friends said that if they are this horrible at responding to simple questions, what’s going to happen when my pay for my writing doesn’t show up?

So, basically, I’m just really annoyed I wasted an entire day and several hours to this when I could have been doing something more productive, like looking for less stressful freelance work or binge watching The Office.

Are You Fucking Kidding Me?

Whenever it snows or rains, literally all the idiots come out in droves. It’s like they think, “Weather makes me straight up lose my mind. It’s a blizzard outside, so now is a good time to be on the road.”

When you combine idiocy with entitlement, you have an even more potentially lethal combination.

This makes me so mad, I can feel the vein in my forehead pulse as I type.

On a daily basis, I see fools driving like they are the only people who matter. I see people driving reckless as fuck and for what? So they can be first in the drive thru line at MacDonald’s? (Yes, I meant to spell it like that. You’re supposed to read it in a country accent.)

Unless you need to poop or you or someone in your car is going into labor, SLOW THE EFF DOWN and be courteous to others.

Also, can we all quit being such self-involved assholes?

On Sunday, I witnessed a woman purposely hit the plastic SLOW sign in the middle of a crosswalk. Like, she veered to hit it. How in the fuck evil does a grown woman have to be to purposely hit a sign that reminds people to slow down for people, namely children, to cross the street? Who hurt you?

Then, that very same day, my dude went to put air in his tires. There was a line, and the person trying and failing to add air to their tires was an elderly woman. It was snowing, freezing cold, and a line of people sat waiting impatiently instead of helping.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

Like, pack your shit and kindly fall off the face of the earth.

In case you were wondering, my non-douchebag boyfriend helped the woman put air in her tires, because we aren’t terrible people.

Where’s My Xanax?

So, about that “job” I decided against? It was the last semi-promising side hustle I’ve found. I’m employing my travel money saving tips for my upcoming trips, but I’m probably going to need a teensy bit more than what I can save from my paychecks. This is partly due to my way smaller than what I was expecting tax return. Anyone else really unhappy about this? I was going to rant about my tax return and forgot because I had so many pressing rants #rantlife.)

I need some way to make some side money that doesn’t involve compromising situations, and it’d be nice if it wasn’t a time-wasting scam.

I don’t think there is such a thing as a legit writing side job.

Anyone who has found one is welcome to speak up and share their secrets, because it’s getting harder to sleep with my twitching eye.

So, what is really burning your biscuits right now? Tell Aunt Fatty!

WTF Wednesdays #16

I have at least three posts sitting in my drafts folder just waiting to be finished. My excuse for not having a polished piece this week is that I’m a teacher and it’s the last week of school.
I’m just feeling lucky that my brain hasn’t melted.
Yesterday was spent out in the sun all day for Field Day. I could barely even.
I silently mouth or say outright, “WTF?!” at least 20 times a day in response to a wide assortment of inconveniences, ridiculous happenstances, strange personal choices, and annoyances. 
It’s basically my go-to response, because I’m a lady like that. 
So, for this week’s installment of #WTFW, I am sharing some WTFs with you. Ready or not, here they come! 
1. How is it that one minute I’m watching a video on how to make strawberry cheesecake macarons, and then, somehow, it’s three hours later and I’m in deep, searching through a rando’s Facebook pictures of their dog? Or, why is it I spend an ungodly amount of time scrolling the comment section of a video on how to fold a shirt? Why do I waste my time like this? I think I need therapy. 
2. When, after walking precisely 20 miles round trip to the work room, staff lounge, admin’s office, back to the work room for the tape I forgot, and back to my classroom, I realize my Fitbit is still charging on my computer. None of those steps counted. Might as well just go home and go to bed. The day is a wash. FML.
3. When one second I am peacefully, albeit horribly, singing to my latest favorite tune in the car, and the next, I am screaming obscenities, that would make a sailor blush, at the idiot who is driving 30 miles an hour on the FUCKING FREEWAY. 
Check out this video on YouTube:

source
This is 1,000% me. 
4. Sometimes I start my makeup on the opposite side of my face that I always start with, and I wonder if I’ve somehow entered a parallel universe. Or, I worry I’m losing my mind, because what kind of routine-driven person does that kind of thing?
5. Sometimes (always) I ask my boyfriend really ridiculous, inane questions that, most likely, make him question his undying love for me and are, 100%, why he has more gray hairs and some new wrinkles. I’ve personally aged the poor man. Some examples would be:
“Did you wash your hands?”
“Do you think it’s safe to eat this salami I left in my bag all day?”
“Did you lock the doors (for the 8,563rd time)?”
“Can you smell my breath from over there?”
“Do you think anyone at Panda Express will notice I’m not wearing a bra?”
“What do you think it means when someone’s pee is green? Asking for a friend.”
And, his absolute favorite: “Can you hold my purse while I use the restroom?”
 I don’t know why I’m crazy, I just am.  

6. When I buy my Friday Treat Donut at Starbucks (for $2, might I add) and there are freaking free donuts in the staff lounge. Fatty don’t play. WTF! 


7. This:

So, tell me: What makes you go “WTF”? I need some humor to get me through this last week, people! 

WTF Wednesday #12

It’s 9:15 PM and I just realized that I haven’t put together my post for tomorrow. I think I just outed myself as the kind of blogger who does not have their shit together. I almost never have blog posts planned days in advance. I usually get a wild idea the night before I post, and then I spend a few frantic hours piecing it together. Not always, but almost always. 
Anyway, this week has moved as slow as an eight-year-old when you’re late for anything, but at the same time, it’s speeding by far too fast. 

How I feel about everything this week!

Amidst a full week of state testing at school and trying to walk enough so I can eat dessert, I’m working on something that could be the most epic thing I’ve ever done. That, or it could be all for naught. No pressure. 
I promise I’ll be back to my usual crazy rants and ravings next week, so forgive me this one really lazy attempt at a post. 
Also, as soon as I can, I’ll share what I’m earning more gray hairs and an extra eye twitch for when possible. 
Since I might as well wrap this up as lamely and lazily as possible, I’ll now hand it off to you. Since reading comments are my absolute favorite pastime, let me have it. 
How is your week going? Any juicy gossip? Got any rants you need to get off your chest? Did you learn an awesomely random new piece of trivia? Anything. Let me know in the comments. 
Sorry I’m lame.