I’ve been feeling so IDGAF about things lately.
Anyone else?
I have an actual, honest-to-goodness post almost finished and ready for Friday. It was supposed to be my post for tomorrow, but, life.
Ya know?
All I have to do for this post is add pictures, links, and do some fact checking- all the shit that really sucks when you’re getting a post ready to *publish*.
Am I right?
Also, I’ve been wondering why I feel it necessary to “have to have a post done by *insert day of the week here*” like my life depends on it.
It doesn’t.
This isn’t a job. No one is supervising me. I won’t be receiving an evaluation for my work (or lack thereof).
I’m sure my loyal followers will be around whenever I decide to grace them with my presence. Or they won’t.
I keep seeing people all around me with incredible side hustles, and here I am just doing my regular full time job and blogging whenever the mood strikes me.
Sometimes, I feel insanely stupid for spending so much of my time doing something that yields absolutely zero income. I’m aware enough to know that money doesn’t always buy happiness, but it does pay off debt and allows for luxurious travel and isn’t that the same thing?
I have been really needing a side job, but I know that if I do, my writing and blog will suffer.
(Or, I just need to write a book, but how will that ever happen when I can barely get a new post out every week?)
Whenever I realize this, I feel utter panic. This blog, my writing, my incredible followers mean a lot to me. They mean everything.
Unfortunately, these beautiful, wonderful, necessary-for-my-sanity things aren’t helping me pay off my debt or save for my upcoming trip to the U.K.
Well, that was depressing.
Let’s move on to another topic.
Along with the supremely deep pondering I’ve obviously been doing, I’ve decided I have an unhealthy relationship with popcorn.
I’m not even joking.
I legit eat three mini bags a night. It used to be two bags, but that didn’t bloat my stomach quite enough, so we’re on to three effing bags now.
Also, I feel I need to be totally transparent-I don’t just eat the popped kernels…
I…I eat the un-popped kernels.
They are probably growing a massive popcorn tree in my bowels as I type this. I might as well draft up a will.
But, seriously? Is eating kernels hazardous to one’s health?
Another awesome thing going on right now is that I’ve mysteriously hurt my ankle.
It’s swollen and puffy and sore.
Almost two weeks ago, I engaged in a 5k for the program Girls on the Run. I say “engaged”, because I sure as hell didn’t run and “walked” sounds even more lame.
Looking pretty decent, but this was 100% because this was taken before the race started.
So, somehow, while merely walking I hurt myself.
As if that’s not enough, my eczema is flaring up. I have itchy splotches of diseased-looking rashes all over my already-gorgeous body.
There ain’t anything sexier to a man then, “Babe, can you come put some cream on the eczema I can’t reach?”
You might as well just take me and my popcorn-growing eczema guts out back, because what in the actual fuck?
Meh.
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Rants, Ramblings, and Regrets
😂😂😂 I know the feelings… I eat the unpopped kernels too😂😂 you probably aren’t growing a tree, maybe gall stones… or so they say but im no MD
Gall stones?! Oh, shite! Probably won’t make me stop though! 🤣🤣😂🤣 Glad I’m not alone!
Won’t make you stop, but at least you’ll know what to tell the ER staff to get diagnosed faster. So there’s that.
I’M SCARED 😱😱😱😱😱
You got corn popping out your ears? Or perhaps, umh … other orifices ? If not, I think it’s probably safe to assume that at some stage they too will exit in the usual way. Unless you happen to see some green stuff beginning to emerge. That may be a worrisome sign if they have settled in, germinated and sprung roots ready to make pop corn babies. ‘Nuff said.
LOL! I’m confident I’ve seen nothing green!! 😂😜
Oh Thank God For That !!
😂😂
OMG. EARS of corn! Did you mean to make that joke?! If so, you’re a genius. If not, you’re an unconscious genius. Either way, GENIUS!
😂😂 She’s totally genius ☺️
Awwww, the unconscious kind 🙂
😂😉
Hahahaha..I know that feeling!
Aww, bless you! I often have the same dilemma regarding a side hustle… There’s simply not enough time in a day to do everything I wish to do! I often wonder how people of my social media feeds manage to do *everything*… Like you say, bleh. I hope your ankle feels better soon! x
I know, right? How do people have full time jobs and more than one side job along with their hobbies?! They must not sleep. That is NOT an option for me! Things would get ugly 😂. Thank you, friend!
I feel exactly the same! Maybe I need to start doing like some of my colleagues and drink two to tree Redbull cans daily?! I hope you find a way to save before your trip to England… I found an app (Chip, not available in the US but there might be something similar) that make little saves for you every now and then. I saved £400 since I started using it in the spring and it helped me pay for my visa, and I barely noticed the tiny saves through the year… Worth investigating?
When I read wonderful posts like yours, for example, I think “these would make a great book”. A collection of similar topics for each chapter, something like that. You just need a title but I’m not witty enough to help with that one.
I’d even wait in line to meet the author and have you sign my copy of your book.
Just an idea….
Awwww! You made my day! I need to seriously look into that ☺️☺️. Thank you!
Impossible to be 💯 all the time. Give yoursel some grace babe, sometimes life is just hard.
Just say you “did” a 5k— there you go. No pesky qualifiers haha!
Hang in there friend!
HAHAHAHA! Yes, I like “did”! 👍🏻
I was definitely a popcorn addict – I typically air pop, and I was having probably 8-10 cups a day. Alas, I had to kick the habit when I cut out snacking 😓 As for the blogging side of things, I often wonder why I kill myself to MAKE SURE my posts go up when as you say, my blog isn’t monetised and at the end of the day, nothing will really happen if I don’t. I think for me, it feels like I’m “quitting” if I don’t stick to whatever bizarrely high standards I’ve set, as illogical as this may be. I think it also may be that I feel like I’ve set up this informal “contract” with my readers that I don’t want to break; I will unfollow a lot of blogs if they get super random with posting and I don’t want the same to happen to me!
HOW DID YOU QUIT SNACKING?! I NEED to know!
I think the example of it being like an informal contract with my readers is SPOT ON. I also understand the repercussions of being erratic with posting. However, that fate only applies to some people. As you and I both know, some people can post once in a blue moon and their followers are all right there 🤔😒.
I guess I’ll just keep setting those unrealistic expectations, because I’ve worked too hard to go back now!
Just so you know, I’d still follow both of you if you posted at random times. 🙂
It’d just be a nice surprise when new post appears. Don’t be hard on yourselves.
I’ve been feeling rather meh lately as well. Maybe it’s the lack of sunshine? Are you getting enough sunshine? lol I know why I’m feeling meh – I’ve got a lot of things in my brain right now taking up precious energy and focus. I need a side-hustle too.
But question: why 3 mini-bags of popcorn and not just one regular sized one? lol
We get SO MUCH sunshine, so it’s not SAD. In fact, sunshine MAKES me sad! 😂 I need me some dark and gloomy days to feel alive!
Well, because 3 bags isn’t *as much as* one big bag 🤣🤣😂😂🤣. I’m so full of shit!
Lol!! Well send some sunshine my way cos its just been gloomy here for a while.
And hehe okies! 😛 I actually bought popcorn last week…maybe I should pop some hehe
I’d love some of that gloom too!
We can switch? Lol it was nice when I was all sad over the boy losing it but now I need some 🌞
Let’s totally switch!!
Deal!
I don’t eat the unpopped kernels, but my husband does. You’re both weirdos. I do have a serious case of IDGAFitis, though. So, solidarity on that one.
My boyfriend thinks I’m a serious weirdo! He also says the constant crinkle of the bag and the crunching of the kernels and my teeth make him insane! LOL! Solidarity, girl ✊🏻
It sounds like he’s chewing on ball bearings. Lol!
LOL! The boyfriend says it sounds like I’m chewing on my own teeth 😂😱
I can’t eat popcorn just now because I need the chiropractor to adjust my jaw…but generally I feel your meh. Can’t write my memoir or even focus on posts. Maybe it’s the time of year.
Oh no!!! That’s not good about your jaw! I think it’s totally about the time of year.
I am always putting my jaw out – I think I talk too much…
LOL! Me too, friend!
This is always my ‘bad’ season – the cycle of the Earth goes from growing to stasis, and I feel it keenly. If I had a choice, I’d hibernate right alongside the natural things.
I accept that within myself, and gamely soldier on.
I gave up popcorn when I started the keto thing – one of the hardest things on my list to say no to. I used to go through a big bag a night. Was a bit scared of the unpopped kernels, though, as too hazardous to my teeth.
Yeah…the affect it might be making on my teeth is likely why I’ll stop!
I love this time of year. After the holidays is when I’d like to hibernate for two months!
Watch out! You’ll get popcorn lung if you eat too much popcorn all the time. Seriously. It’s a thing. 😬
FOR REAL?! I thought that was when you inhale a piece of popcorn in your lungs?! 😱😱😱😱😱
Girlfriend do a “donate to my awesome ass” button so that we can throw you dollar bills so that I don’t have to keep putting them in your underwear ( yea, that was me)
I was wondering… 😂😂😉. Does that actually work?? Anyone I’ve ever talked to about it say they’ve never received anything 😂😬
I don’t know, I’ll buy you a coffee though
YESSSS! I just might have to do that now!! 😉😉
DO IT lol
I’ve got into a ‘thing’ where I think I need to post once a week on a certain day. It’s an unnecessary pressure and I need to stop it! I do spend a lot of spare time on promoting my blog posts and I do sometimes wonder if it’s worth it, but then I like writing so….
I think you need to go to a sauna, get yourself all heated up, and see if the kernels start popping lol!
BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That’s hilarious!!! At least I’d know if they were still stuck inside somewhere 😂😱!
I wonder when I got to the point where it felt like a job…it kind of sucks, because:
1. I’m not making money off of it
2. I enjoy writing, but not the pressure
Yeah, I enjoy writing but I put self-imposed pressure on myself. Like you say, there’s no employer and there’s no deadlines so why??
I think it’s like what An Historian said earlier, we fear we will lose our readers if we don’t post consistently.
I’m reading a book called Real Artists Have Day Jobs. I’m thinking you should read it, too.
And I like my popcorn burnt, so we wouldn’t have to share. Which is good, because true friends don’t make friends share popcorn.
Ooh! I’ll add it to my Goodreads. Girl, that’s #realtalk. I HATE sharing my 🍿!
Oh my goodness. I am so uncool. I had to google “IDGAF” I seem to have fucks to give about lots of things, so I didn’t even know you could shorten this into an acronym!
Eczema can fuck right off. I am soooo with you on this one. I have a little on my forehead at the moment (mine likes to creep onto my face and show its ugly flaky self to the world!!) Get the strongest steroid creams the doctor will give you and zap it away! The itchy bastard.
I used to get the worst eczema as a delayed reaction to stress. I’d have to put cream on my skin before I could move in the morning it got so bad. 🙁 In the end it got better once I visited Japan and started having super hot baths and living in such a humid place. So, can you save up for a trip to Japan after the UK?? Or, buy some Oilatum and add it to your bath. That is what I do these days and it really helps.
Oooh!! I need to try what you’ve suggested! I’m so sorry you get it on your face! That’s terrible. I have a nasty patch on my back, right where I can’t reach, and a few patches right on my butt cheek! Mine is 100% stress related!! It sucks!
You had me rolling with the IDGAF comment 😂😂😂
I hate getting it on my back too! You do just have to get your other half to cover you in cream! At least that part feels nice (unless they have cold hands!)
Do give Oliatum a go. Warm baths are the way forward!!
Yup! He does, but it’s not his favorite 😂😂
Sorry to hear you’re feeling meh. If it makes you feel any better, I’m in kind of the same boat, so you’re not alone.
I’m curious, how does a person eat the unpopped kernels? You can’t chew them, can you? Do you just… swallow them whole, like pills? I’m so intrigued!
LOL!!! They are the half-popped, still warm ones after most have been popped! They are usually soft enough to chew 😬😬
Ahhh… okay that makes more sense. It’s been so long since I’ve made popcorn at home, so I was imagining like… TOTALLY unpopped hard little rock things.
HAHAHAHA! No, they aren’t quite that hard 😜
I know the feeling! I also think that sometimes I’m harder on myself than I would be if this was an actual job.
I’ve never tried popcorn before the pop…..
I totally agree!! Oh, I don’t eat the kernels before they’re popped. I eat the half-popped, still warm ones after most of the bag has been popped 😜
Still sounds crunchy to me?! 😃
😂😂😂 Its definitely crunchy and probably terrible for my teeth 😩😩
I’ve totally given up on any kind of real schedule. Zero fucks given over here. Of course, I have, like, 3 followers (who have all commented on here, lol – hi, guys!), so maybe I’m not a good example to follow. As for feeling like you need a side job, let me remind you: YOU ARE A TEACHER. That’s actually, like, 12 jobs in 1. So cut yourself some slack. And start by printing up all your blog posts and organizing them by category. Then see if that can be a jumping off point for that book you need to write. As for me, I don’t eat popcorn, I eat corn smut. So don’t feel bad.
You are awesome, friend! Truly! I wish teaching was enough, but it’s sadly not enough to travel and truly pay off debt. It’s sad and pathetic.
WHAT is corn smut?!??
Girl, you are a legit hot mess! Every thought you had, I’ve had! I can’t get a side hustle, my blog will suffer but then again, me not making money. My blog is my life! Just drink. It numbs the guilt.
I’m so a hot mess!!!! Yes, drinking helps!
But isn’t it fun to be a hot mess?!?!
Only when it doesn’t itch 😂
The blahs will pass, hang in there!
Thanks!!
Aah mate! I get it. I really do. Am also going through a IDGAF phase. Well at least I hope it’s a phase. I’m blaming it on the time of year or the moon or my menstrual cycle or Donald Trump. I’m definitely not responsible for my own feelings though, that’s for sure.
I agree, we are 100% not responsible for our own feelings 😜😉
This is exactly how I have felt these past 2 weeks since I returned from my fabulous Mexico holiday!! I can’t seem to get any inspiration to blog, let alone write for a magazine. And Xmas stories are no inspiration to me. All I managed to do was to book a 5 week trip to Australia and hope that inspires me. Thanks for the read, sister.
Dang, I need to book a five week trip to Australia!!
You do!!!
You want to know how far I’ve traveled into IDGAF-Land?
I just bought new clothes because I don’t feel like doing laundry. I have little inspiration, almost no motivation, but I do have a lot of irritation. I don’t know what it is – the semester? The season? The pending holidays? All I know is that I’m running on autopilot, and that’s not good. The only positive is that it’s good to know that I’m not alone in this.
I am sorry, however, to hear of your health issues, and I do wish you a speedy recovery!
Oh, that’s kinda funny, though! But, I get that level of IFGAF. I do. Thanks!!
First off, three MINI bags? Well, then you almost have to eat the kernels, because most of them don’t pop. Guh. I had an airpopper, and just ate a giant bowl of popcorn with butter and salt. No “serving size” guilt trips there!
EXACTLY!! I’m practically only eating one bag 😜
Girl, I feel you! I’d been doing some serious pondering of the same magnitude about a month ago (re: blogging); hence why I’m taking a “break” (i.e. not writing real posts because I feel guilty if I don’t have them ready, but don’t want to miss my imaginary deadline I’ve created for myself/ I’m afraid I’ve run out of funny stories to tell) while I finish my damn novel. And I’m gonna do it! Don’t let that stupid inner voice of mine tell you otherwise!!! Ugh, sorry, this comment wasn’t supposed to be about me. I hope your bum isn’t too itchy (I’m not a creep I saw it in your comment to Josy, above– ok I’m a little bit of a creep, but it’s ok, right?!), I fully support your popcorn addiction, I will always be here to read no matter how long between posts, I hope your mysterious ankle injury heals soon– am I forgetting anything? I’m sorry, I should just stop rambling in your comment section now…
LOL!! I just love you! That’s so awesome that you’re writing a novel! I’m actually putting together a book, too. For that reason, I’m not writing any more “real” posts for my blog either!
I will also be here reading your posts when you do them!
Speaking of the ankle, I’m finally seeing a doctor today 🙌🏻!
My butt cheek still itches #fml
Yassssss! You go girl!! Can’t wait to read it someday! If you ever need a beta reader let me know! 😉
Ooh! Definitely! Same here!