I used to love post apocalyptic movies because it was fun to scare myself shitless about the world ending because I was fairly confident it was all fiction. I felt safe knowing it wouldn’t be in my lifetime that we would have mass panic over toilet paper and hand sanitizer while a novel virus made its way around the globe. But here we are.
I’m pretty convinced we are starring in Contagion 2: Shit Gets Real Real. I imagine that, at this point in the movie, our audience is thinking, “Those poor fucks. They have no idea what’s coming.”
It’s at that crucial stage in the movie and in life where we can actually make moves to stop this virus from completely obliterating our lives (I’d kind of like to go back to Saturdays filled with racking up my credit card on shit I don’t need at TJ MAXX, thank-you-very-much), but we got Bubba and Ultimate Karen who think it’s fake news that this is a big deal.
As the drama builds in the movie, there are a few brave, headstrong people who choose to self-isolate, giving up their grande iced soy chai lattes with three pumps to be part of the solution not the problem, while the majority of the world goes about their lives like they don’t watch the real news. This is the most frustrating, maddening aspect of this sure-to-be-an-Oscar winner. The audience is yelling obscenities at the noobs who don’t think they are capable of sitting their asses on their couches for a bit to help the greater good.
In a crucial scene, the protagonists brave the grocery store and its like Soviet-Russia-bleak but make it fashun because the heroine is wearing her new rain boots she bought for rainy Edinburgh. It’s tragic, but beautiful because she risks her sanity (she’s an extreme germaphobe) to buy groceries for her family (the camera quickly pans over the Coffee Nut M&M’s, wine, and Velveeta Shells & Cheese to the heroine’s resolute face to remind the audience how brave she is). Meanwhile, Bubba and Ultimate Karen carelessly have lunch at BJ’s like the world isn’t mere weeks away from imploding.
It sounds like every post apocalyptic movie but the twister is that this is real. It’s.really.happening.
Today in Contagion 2: Shit Gets Real Real:
- My boyfriend and I got in a fight about how to walk through the grocery store full of infested people.
- I had an absolute meltdown over how many M&M’s said boyfriend had eaten since Friday but it turned out I had eaten the M&M’s.
- My state canceled school until April 6th, and the boyfriend and I don’t know what that means for our pay.
- I realized that it’s not fair this is happening this year because my class is the sweetest I’ve ever had and I already miss them.
- I started precisely 15 internet fights with complete idiots because I’m triggered. Yes, I am, ma’am.
So, how was your day? How are you feeling about the insane movie we’re starring in?
I’m feeling like shaking Bubba and Ultimate Karen though I won’t go near them! (Also, as a Becky–last year’s choice name for annoying-white-lady–I’m glad it’s Karen, this year!)
Hahahahahahahaha! That’s funny. I want someone to shake them, just not me because reasons 🤣
Everything is going to be ok. You’re taking the right steps. The Asian outbreak is on the mend and it will get to us as well. We WILL be ok. Like sure I died a little when my “haters roast” of drag queens was cancelled for my birthday weekend in 4 weeks but like I guess that’s ok? I can always see it later when it’s not going to get me sick. Until then, buy extra snacks! LOL and go for a walk. Fresh air my love!
I agree that it will get better, but we can’t compare what is happening in Asia to our own future recovery. China and South Korea instituted STRICT quarantine measures that will never happen here. They are past the spike because of the extreme measures they all participated in.
Oh yes for sure – I just meant that it won’t be horrible forever and those who were hit first and hard are in their recovery so we know we can get there too.
Our PM is in self-isolation because his wife tested positive and just made an announcement today about the next steps of control for Canada. Closing borders to travellers and urging citizens to return home ASAP. My school has all of grade 10 in Armenia right now so hopefully they will come home earlier than expected (the 18th).
I just saw news on Canada closing it’s borders but I didn’t know Trudeau’s wife tested positive 😳. Did you hear about Idris Elba? He tested positive too and zero symptoms 😳
Yeah she tested positive early last week. He’s been giving press conferences outside his house all week haha. We have closed our boarders to anyone who isn’t a Canadian citizen/resident or a US citizen? Like it’s weird. The reporters were like “dude, the US has been hit worse than us, why are you letting them in?” And he’s all “well trump and I have been talking and blah blah blah” lol
And nnooo I didn’t hear that! My friend gave me a test to do each morning: wake up and hold your breath for 10 seconds. If its without coughing or tightness then the virus hasn’t started to form in your lungs. Like of course you will feel discomfort because you are holding your breath but more than usual lol. And to drink at least once every 15 mins coz once the virus is in your stomach, the acid kills it. So stay hydrated! Haha
LOL! I’ve heard that’s been debunked! I heard the same thing but now it’s spreading that it’s false.
Lol oh man, well I give up then. Haha
LOL!!!!!!! Don’t give up!!!
Haha just stay inside and do yoga – that’s my plan
(Please delete previous comment) the goal post keeps changing.. I hate this.. self isolate / don’t self isolate. My hubby has a high temperature about once every six weeks or more frequent.. that’s a heck of alot of self isolation. We will never be at work…
And yes the toilet roll mania is mad here in the UK too!
It’s all scary and I don’t have answers at all. I want to go hang out at my friend’s house as we are both just sitting around self-isolating but I don’t know if that’s “against the rules” or not 🤷🏻♀️
Sit 2 m away from each other.. though surely you are fine sharing it together.. It’s all not good.. really hard.. I see alot of staying indoors in the future, I need to join all the 3 trolley shoppers.. ha ha
Haha!! Best of luck! We could just sit 6 feet from each other! 🤣
Ha ha shout! Thanks x
Yeah, it’s getting a little scary. I did the last of my shopping today (necessary, might I add… picking up my asthma inhalers) and it was dire in the shops… Thankfully the British government seems to be catching up now so the husband should start working from home shortly and we’re all ready to be even more introverted than usual!
Have you seen the trending hashtag on Twitter, #staythefuckhome? I feel like shouting it at some people I see hanging out in pubs and cafés these days!
Also, I was so happy to see your blog pop in my reader! I missed you!
Yay! I’m glad you are happy I’m back at it ☺️☺️
Yup!! I’ve been typing that hashtag like mad lately! I am home, self-isolating but my boyfriend’s evening job is still on. He had to go to work today 😟
Aww, that sucks… I hope he’s safe. My husband is still working too, but his company is working on making everything available from the cloud so he can work soon.
Our state just shut down all nonessential businesses but we don’t know if that includes his. So scary.
You’re right! This does sound like we are living a scary movie. I actually went to the grocery store today with a spray bottle full of alcohol! Sprayed that shit on the groceries when we got home!!!
Oh shit! Haha! I actually thought about doing that, but I was worried my bf would think I was insane and now he’s saying, “That’s a good idea, actually!” Oh man…this is scary!!!
I am so discombobulated by this! I run a food pantry for seniors and I think we are going to have to box up their food and deliver it to them when they pull up in their cars. We have to sanitize every surface every two hours. And, the worst thing is, my Hubs and I are supposed to on a plane to Tampa in the morning for a vacation with our friends..but the beaches have all been close. And many restaurants, bars, etc. so we had to cancel. This sucks, but we’ll get through it one way or another.
Yikes! I’m so worried about the elderly! I think that’s a great idea to deliver to their cars. Yeah, I was supposed to be riding a bike in the Belgium countryside right now. I feel you ☹️
It sucks, but we all have to try and make the best of it, don’t ya think?
For sure!!
I’m genuinely getting more worried to be honest, and much more when colleagues are talking about the impact on their self-employed spouses. They’re talking about the over 70s needing to stay indoors for up to 4 months. It’s effing scary :/
It’s really scary. Really, really scary. I’m trying to stay positive while also being rational. Being 100% not a very rational individual, it’s hard 😫🤣
Oh yeah definitely, I’m worst case scenario girl every time!
I still lose my shit every time I read “Ultimate Karen.” XD
The thing of it is, this isn’t new. SARS and Bird Flu were both pandemics. With the exception of the younglings, we lived through those. They sucked, but the world didn’t end. I don’t remember people hoarding toilet paper like it’s the damn antidote during those. No one freaks out like this during the regular flu when literally thousands of people die each year–but the media doesn’t give the normal flu a fancy, scary name like Covid-19, so no one gives a damn about all THOSE people dying, I guess.
I’m mostly just sitting here bitter about being pushed behind in school, especially so close to transferring to university, because I have a lot of questions for my counselor and for the transfer center, but campus is closed and those departments aren’t even offering remote sessions! WHAT THE HELL? I want half my tuition back.
Pup is mostly pissed off about all the customers at his work buying all the everything and then having the audacity to complain about OTHER PEOPLE buying up all the everything.
It’s a shit-show. But, apparently Mitt Romney wants to give all American adults $1000 to help offset the economic effects of this nightmare. It’s not much, but it’s better then nothing. Fingers crossed that it gets approved.
Ultimate Karen makes me laugh 🤣🤣. I just heard about Mitt Romney’s plan. It is definitely something. I’ll take $1000. I know that Coronaviruses aren’t new, but this strain is. Why is this dismantling entire countries if this wasn’t serious?
The government is working on all kinds of relief packages. I’m unemployed anyway, so I’m not losing any income, so I doubt I’ll actually see any of it. But I’m happy that they’re taking the common folk into consideration.
The strain is new, yes. I meant that pandemics and high death tolls are not new. So far in 2020, the standard, run-of-the-mill flu has killed 10,000 in the United States alone, compared to Covid-19’s 9,000 worldwide in the same amount of time. But no one hoards toilet paper and loaves of bread during flu season.
I’m not trying to say Covid-19 isn’t serious. It’s clearly very serious. I’m saying that it’s not the automatic death sentence everyone is making it out to be. The people most likely to die from Covid-19 are the same people most likely to die from the normal flu: the elderly and those with compromised immune systems and other underlying issues.
People seem to forget that the CDC recommends social distancing, hand washing, and avoiding touching your mouth/eyes/nose for the regular flu, too.
The problem is, because Covid-19 is so contagious and we know so little about this particular strain of coronavirus, governments and health organizations are advising extra caution–cancelling events, closing popular tourist sites, travel bans. That’s having a huge economic impact everywhere, hence why so many governments are in a frenzy to fix things.
So, in the meantime, everyone is in panic mode. People hear “social distancing” and think it means “if you leave your house at all, you’ll get the virus and probably die.” When in reality it means “if you need to run to the store or something, you’ll probably be okay, but don’t go to any parties and try to keep 3 feet between you and anyone you’re talking to.” This grievous lack of common sense is why we have Bubba and Ultimate Karen fighting Grandma over a 6-pack of Charmin.
And, frankly, I’m appalled.
The issue is the exponential growth. Doctors and hospitals are always ready and prepared for the flu cases, but the way this growing, there won’t be room for everyone needing hospital care. That’s my biggest worry. And not just old people are having complications and dying.
I don’t disagree. And, no, it’s not just old people. I didn’t say it was. I said the people who are most at risk are the elderly and those who are immunocompromised–people with asthma, heart disease, diabetes, etc. These things can affect people of all ages. These are the people who should get priority for hospital beds because the overwhelming majority of people who get it are not going to need extensive medical care.
I have asthma-exercise induced but, still. It makes me extra nervous.
I understand your concern. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that here.
I genuinely hope so too.