I really need to type me up one of those fancy schedules we’ve all seen floating around social media because I’ve been an absolute slug of a human these last few days.
While my friends are out there braving the work world or being altruistic, I’m eating all my quarantine snacks. Someone’s gotta do the good work.
This was my big day yesterday. Hold on tight because this’ll be sure to blow your socks right off.
8:00 Alarm goes off but I can’t hear it because I have my earplugs in. Boyfriend has to poke me with his toe claws repeatedly before I realize I’m not actually in line at Subway deciding between a Classic Tuna or a Cold Cut Combo.
Don’t @ me with why I have an alarm set either. I don’t even know.
8:30 Teeth have been brushed, face has been washed, and my oily hair has been dry shampooed with half a can of the good stuff- Batiste.
8:32 Mini anxiety attack when I realize I’ve been too liberal with my dry shampoo and it’s bound to run out. I then remember that all I’m doing is sitting my fat ass on the couch so who cares if my hair looks like I brushed it with a greasy pancake*?
8:45 The bare minimum with makeup has been slapped on, because I can’t give up entirely just yet.
(My current quarantine makeup routine involves foundation and too much setting powder that settles almost entirely on my eyebrows so they look like ghosts. With no mascara and powder coating my eyelashes, my eyes look like tiny pebbles. And the look is complete.)
8:45 to 10:00 I mean to start my coffee and eat something but several internet fights trump sustenance. This is the point at which I realize this is my new diet plan and I feel a renewed sense of meaning.
10:10 Completely forgetting my new diet goals, I add extra Cinnamon Toast Crunch CoffeeMate in my World Market Texas Turtle coffee because this is what I have to take joy in now.
10:10 to 12:35 I resume my fights on the internet with people who have mush for brains and obsessively scroll through articles on COVID-19, hoping someone will report that this has all been a big joke, haha.
12:40 I decide I need a phone break, and with my keyboard warrior-ing, my battery is at 27% so I charge it in the other room while I eat a Velveeta Shells & Cheese cup. It’s the last one, and I know it’ll start a fight but the fake cheese that coats my teeth is worth it.
1:45 I’m knee deep into the first episode of Love is Blind and wondering why there are no ugly people on the show if the point is to show people that looks aren’t everything. Kinda bullshit if you ask me. Maybe I’ll write a post about it on Facebook.
2:00 Upon passing the hall mirror I realize I never brushed the dry shampoo out of my hair and I look like George Washington after a bender. The thought that it doesn’t even matter that I’ve had chunks of dry shampoo coating my hair all day and my face appears to be sucking in my makeup-less pebble eyes floors me for a minute.
2:06 I decide to make myself feel better by watching women who appear to have zero pores on their faces because nothing I do makes any sense.
2:10 I start grazing through our quarantine snacks, wondering how much I can eat without my boyfriend noticing. I decide 18 M&M’s**, 30 crackers, and 15 pistachios won’t be missed.
2:30 Feeling major cabin fever, I walk outside to get some fresh air and instantly feel like I’m in a war movie about WWII France. Not sure why it’s now a war movie and not a post-apocalyptic movie set in Soviet Russia.
2:35 The fresh air motivates me, and I decide to do something productive. Also my butt is sore from all the sitting. I randomly decide I need to vacuum under the bed.
2:45 I vacuum up a sock and three lost dryer sheets and about halfway into the job, I lose steam because if we are going to die from Coronavirus, do I really want to be vacuuming under my bed? Um. No.
2:45 to 4:25 This time is lost to searching for deep web Coronavirus theories because I’m still hoping this is all fake and the government has the anecdote.
4:25 The boyfriend gets home and we discuss the developing news on businesses set to close in our city. We wonder if the business he works for falls under the category of “non essential” and then we both fall silent for a good hour as we let it sink in that we will be together every day, all day, until we die.
5:30 We have a civil discourse fight over the best meal to prepare since we need to start rationing. We agree to disagree that Rice-A-Roni and plain rice are basically the same thing.
6:30 After cleaning up dinner we have another civil discourse about what we should watch on Netflix for the evening. After a nearly 20 minute debate, we decide on Hunters because during uncertain times, a dark show about Nazis is a sure fire way to feel better.
6:30 to 11:00 We spend the rest of the evening taking turns yelling at each other for being on our phones.
“You’re not even watching.”
“Yes, I am” *takes one last sneak peek at my Instagram feed.
“Babe, get off your phone. You just yelled at me for being on my phone!” *as I have my phone hidden under a throw blanket so I can scroll through Facebook.
“I’m not! Just pay attention to the show!” *as he is, very clearly, scrolling through the comments of a news article.
This is going well.
11:30 I fall into bed, exhausted by my day of doing literally nothing productive and wondering how much better or worse it could get tomorrow.
What are ya’ll doing to pass the time? How’s staying at home with your loved ones going? Be honest.
*I can’t claim this as my line. My friend’s dad said this to her when we were in high school. While funny, it’s admittedly pretty mean.
**He 100% noticed the M&M’s. I can’t get away with anything around here.
Alright! So I’m on day two of my “routine” and so far it’s working out well:
No alarm because I’m on March break dang it and I refuse to wake up early on my ACTUAL vacation!!
Breakfast and emails.
Blogging posts for A to Z and getting caught up on A to Z reveal posts.
Walk outside (yesterday was 30 mins. Today a little warmer so 45)
More writing/blogging stuff until lunch.
Lunch break and non-news from 12-1.
School lesson prep 1-4
4pm yoga
Dinner
5:30-6:30 local news only.
6:30-bed: movies and Disney and a few snacks
LOL obviously it’s only day two but it’s a good routine! I’m starting to film my lessons today. I’ll start easy with books that need to be read and then science and I’m leaving math for the very end. Cos ugh MATH lol
Once I get my two weeks of lessons done I don’t know what I’ll do but I have ideas: cleaning out my closet, learning acrylic nails. Don’t tell anyone but I have a tattoo consultation on Friday! 😃😃
Your day sounds so organized and together!! I’m proud of you, girl! We have to start digital lessons on March 30th. Not one shittin clue how that will work since many of our kids don’t have access and our district did away with Google Classroom 🙄
Oh dang!! I’ve had parents email me being all “I don’t have access to google classroom please send me things to my personal email” like all my communication has been via google classroom since NOVEMBER and you’re just telling me this now?! Or parents all shocked Cos my newsletter and google classroom and a reminder on google classroom all went unread and now their child got 5/38 on a unit test. Cos apparently it’s not in their agendas. Well ya know what? I’m not checking EVERY agenda in February. No thank you I don’t have time. Lol
I’m doing a lot of recording today. All the videos will be me in the same shirt but I don’t even care. I’m reading dr Seuss and Robert munsch from the comfort of my bedroom lol
Are you expected to film?! Eek.
Lol no we aren’t! But for my math lessons I want to show the students how to do it. I have a white board and markers and after doing things like VIPkid I am totally comfortable doing it
Haha that’s awesome! I think *maybe* I’d be OK with it but in general being on film makes my blood pressure rise 🤣
Haha legit its on my cell phone – propped up on some books to get it high enough to have a good angle to not look totally gross 😉
LOL!!! Good to know for the future 😬🤣
I tried my laptop but the image was backwards and I can flip is so easily in my phone. But after taking the videos and watching them back I don’t have to flip on my phone!! YAY
Nice!!
Wait, how did he know about the M&Ms that is pretty impressive!
This made me realize I fail on isolation snacks! I have some nuts and some korean seaweed. I already munched the seaweed (I looove it) and drank 4 cups of tea. I might end up lonely, but I’ll be well hydrated! 😀
Because the bag was substantially lighter than the day before 🤣. You better get you yourself some more snacks, girl!
As a total introvert, I was kind of made for these End Times, but really I get it. When my husband first started working from home more I thought I’d die. This is MY QUIET HOUSE! I definitely need a walk today, but first I need to get dressed (it’s nearing 2:00pm) and before that I need to get something actually accomplished. Basically, three guys at home means all I’ve been doing is meals–prep, cook, clean. While my lovely husband has decided it’s time to start spring cleaning. The boys and I keep telling him it’s not even spring yet! But we might end up having to join in out of guilt. So, even though I’m missing church, this Lent, there’s guilt aplenty!
My boyfriend got the urge to completely clean out one of the closets! It was shocking and I’m still not convinced we aren’t also dealing with an invasion of the body snatchers as well. I’m expecting any day for his job to shut down, so soon my quiet house will have to be shared as well 💀
I could have used my week extension on all my due dates to get ahead (okay, let’s be real: catch up) in my classes. Instead, I’ve been depression-eating cookies and snack cakes. And since I’m not walking three miles around campus every other day, I gained back the 8 pounds I’d lost since Christmas by giving up sugar. But I can’t bring myself to care. It’ll probably be a year before I see my doctor again anyway. No one will yell at me until then.
Pup and I also stood in line for forty minutes in the rain waiting for Target to open yesterday so I could get a six pack of toilet paper so I won’t have to wipe my ass with a wet washcloth next week. So, that’s progress. I ran a few final errands before everything ends up closing for good.
I’m also spending a lot of time wondering if (again, let’s be real: WHEN) the Post Office is going to close, because the only way I earn money is by selling my old clothes on eBay. And also wondering if my therapy appointment is going to get cancelled.
I truly hope the post office and mail services don’t close/stop 😳
Same. So far we haven’t had issues, but it has me worried. Ebay is my only source of income.
I hope you’re able to continue making your income 🤞🏻
The George Washington on a binder thing made me laugh out loud and now I have to explain to my new colleague (also known as ‘husband’) why…
To be honest, quarantine is going very well for me. As an introverted freelancer and socially isolated expat, I feel like I’ve been training for this moment my whole life. Now is my time to shine! It’s a it weird to have the husband at home full-time though… I’m learning new things about him. Like… He makes a fuck ton of tea, but doesn’t really drink that much of it!
Anyway… I hope you manage to find your footing soon. It’s a challenging and stressful time. Stay safe! x
Haha! Too funny. Yes, this is the time to shine for all introverts! I’m one of them, but I’m usually at a cafe or in the shops on the weekend or during break, so this is all odd.
The comment about your “colleague” had me rolling 🤣🤣🤣