I haven’t worn a bra for roughly 90% of the last 3 weeks.
I’ve been able to use the restroom whenever the need presented itself.
I haven’t taken my yoga pants off for precisely 21 days.
I have zero paper cuts.
I’ve had no real reason to drink, other than, well…
I’ve only answered one question: “Would you like to apply for a Target RedCard?”
I don’t even know what the date is.
You can imagine my horror when, as I came up for air from my cereal bowl, I had discovered 3 glorious weeks of no school had passed by in a flash.
Well, I suppose I better unearth myself from my snack-laden, alcohol-induced hibernation, because it’s back to school I go.
Also, I better figure out what day it is, practice writing the new year, and open up my lesson plan book, because I have a student teacher starting with me tomorrow. We don’t want to show her the ugly side just yet.
Here’s to all my fellow educators out there, drinking away their sorrows tonight over winter break being over.
Good luck, and may God be with you tomorrow.
Tag: satire
Food Naughty
Hello, Readers! My latest post is up on Shopper Lottie! If you so desire, check it out, and let me know what you think of it on Shopper Lottie! I can’t fully express enough how appreciative I feel and blessed I am for the people who take time out of their days to read what I have to say. It’s the best part of being a blogger-the awesome people you meet and the positive connections you make. Feeling very excited heading into 2016!
8 Awkward Things That Happen When You’re Being Food Naughty 
Share this:
Google Searches and Hairy Older Women
Thanks to Blair, over at The Shameful Sheep, I had to check out the search engine terms that people have used to find my blog. Either they were looking specifically for my blog, or their search for “hairy sex” lead them to my blog. I had no idea that this awesome feature was available to me in the “stats” section of my dashboard. I’m equal parts horrified and amused.
These are some of the search terms:
#teamwearehairy2015
Or, should we extend the club into the new year?
The best part was some of the comments my friends made about these, um, interesting search topics:
After some time thinking about hairy older women and front butts on legs, I got to realizing that I’ve mentioned all of these. All.
I’m assuming, rather than be ashamed, I should be damn proud, as my friend, Jenn says.
Then, I happened upon Suzie’s first post of the new year. In her comments, she suggested reblogging some of your older posts, so newer followers can read your earlier stuff (because even hardcore creepers ain’t got time for that-scrolling months back. Yeah. I’ll just creep your Instagram).
So, what better time to share some links of my earlier blog posts? These posts should prove that I write about some truly random things.
I hope you’ll check these posts out, and you won’t think I’m that hairy or that I’m, like, into hairy older women. Not that that’s bad, or anything…
My Hairy Life
An Ode to the Hairy Women
Porta Poop
Porta Poop #2
Front Butt Thighs
Ugly Sleep
And, a couple just because:
21 Minute Survival Challenge
Get Out the Way, Bitch
