So, it turns out that I’m not only completely inept in the Eating Healthy and Working Out arena, I’m also a hot mess in the Saving (Having) Money department.
I’d like to reassure any and all who think I’m somewhat of a productive, responsible member of society by saying I always pay my bills on time, and despite having more debt than I’d like, I have excellent credit.
This is where the positives end and the what-are-you-some-kind-of-moron-or-something begins.
Without fail, the week leading up to my monthly payday, I am firmly living under the poverty line.
So, that’s why right now I’m on the struggle bus careening straight toward Mental Breakdown Town.
I’d really like to blame my monthly financial crises on my lowly teacher pay, but, no, it’s 100% me.
(That’s not to say I don’t think teachers all across the world deserve pay that accurately depicts the jobs they perform, because they do.)
True talk, my monthly salary is totally enough to pay my bills, buy groceries, spend on occasional fun, and put aside some (meager) savings. Now, I can’t go all crazy and buy a house or go on a trip or anything…
So, why am I washing our paper plates and rinsing and drying out paper towels, you ask?
(Speaking of fucking paper towels, Target recently halved what they give you on their 99¢ rolls and thought we wouldn’t notice. Assholes.)
Well, let me just plainly list the reasons why I’m forever transferring money from my savings and overdraft to my checking account:
1. I am paying for too many monthly subscriptions (Ipsy, Snack Crate, Weight Watchers, Netflix, Hulu, and numerous educational related apps and services).
2. I have an addiction to Starbucks. My “Once a Week” deal has turned into, “Manic Monday”, “Friyay”, and far too many trips over the weekend. If it has a cute, made up name for the excuse and it’s easier than pushing the Keurig button, I’m game.
3. I go to Target every weekend. I am firmly anti-Walmart, so our non-grocery essentials are bought by moi at the Happiest Place on Earth. It’s just that I’m-going-for-toothpaste, turns into shit-fuck-how-did-I-spend-$100?
I got $99 problems
4. I need, like, I’m not joking that it feels like needing-to-breathe-need bullshit things like these:
Amazon
RoseGoldRebel
FabFitFun
If I don’t buy/have a rose gold Starbucks travel cup, I don’t know how I can go on living.
Our Earth is really just a spinning globe of garbage, but I feel an intense need for endless crap that I’ll forget I own in 6 months.
It’s pathetic, really.
5. I will have a fridge full of food, but cooking sounds like hard labor, so I’ll pick up food whenever I’m feeling lazy. And that’s all.the.time.
Source
Me, when I have to cook literally anything.
6. I can’t start walking, hiking, doing yoga, or journaling without buying the latest and greatest accoutrements. When someone told me about the “envelope method” for spending money, my first thought was, “Well, I’ll have to get a really cute envelope. I wonder if they have fake leather ones in a gorgeous mint color?” WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS A “CUTE LEATHER MONEY ENVELOPE”? (Google didn’t know either.)
Really, I could go on, but I’ll just quit while I’m not even close to being ahead.
So, I know. I need therapy, Dave Ramsey, and Shoppers Anonymous in a major way.
Because I don’t spend my money on things that will actually prove useful in time (*Ahem* addiction therapy), I’m going to list the ways I’m planning to attempt to straighten up my money act.
1. I’m finally quitting Ipsy (along with Snack Crate). I know it’s only $10 a month, but, holy shit, did you know that 10 times 12 is $120? Also, I already have 82 black eyeliners and 45 mini tubes of mud mask. How many black eyeliner pencils does one need in a lifetime? Because I think I have that many. Not to mention, this month’s ugly bag was just…I can’t.
This is not my favorite.
2. I’m going to get serious about Acorns. Haven’t heard of it yet? Y’ALL. It’s awesome. Basically, what they do is round up to the next dollar all of your debit purchases and that amount is “invested” into your Acorns account. You can also arrange to have a monthly payment invested into your account. I legit saved over $80 the last month (you better believe Homegirl wears out that debit card).
The beauty of this is that you hardly notice 23 cents being taken out at a time.
The downside? You can withdraw your funds at.anytime.
So, what I meant by “get serious” is I need to start actually leaving my savings the eff alone. Had I just not touched it from the moment I downloaded the app, I’d have so much money saved.
Ugh. I can’t even think about it.
P.S. If you like the sound of Acorns and you want to set up an account, follow this link so I can get credit for referring you. If 10 friends start using Acorns, I get a $500 bonus. (I’m not being compensated in any way by Acorns, it’s just legit one of my favorite apps).
P.P.S Thank you to Angela at Hot Mess Memoir for introducing me to Acorns.
3. I’m going to slowly back away from Starbucks. Not only is their coffee grossly overpriced, unless you do the sugar-free thing, the sugar in their drinks is through the roof. I hate how convenient they are, though. I have one so close to home and on the way to work. I can slip in and out of the drive thru and be on the freeway to work, before I realize I did it again.
My new deal is one Starbucks visit a month. It gives me heart palpitations just typing that. Also, I’m on the market for a shock collar that’ll give me a good wringing the second I start heading to the ‘Bux.
SEE I CAN’T SAVE MONEY WITHOUT SPENDING IT.
4. I’m going to give myself a weekly spending allowance of $80. This will include spending for dinner out or other entertainment on the weekend. On Sunday, I’ll withdraw the cash and only allow myself to use that cash for any and all purchases.
$80 sounds like a lot, but it’s mind blowing how much I spend when left unsupervised.
Maybe at some point I’ll be able to live off even less per week?
I mean, stranger things have happened.
So, what are your budgeting strategies? How do you save money? What’s something you struggle with not spending money on? Let me know in the comments!
I'm a Hot Money Mess
I totally get where you’re coming from. I just try to not go out shopping!!!!
I try, and never succeed!!! 😂😂😂😂
😆😆😆
To be honest, I’ve only started budgeting when I moved to the UK because I had a much better salary back home and I didn’t need to count my pennies as much… When you have to save several thousand pounds for a visa, it changes everything! I use Chip (an app similar to Acorns), I put a certain amount in my savings account every payday and do as if that money doesn’t exist and my real life saver was to list EVERY SINGLE THING I spend money on on an Excel file. WOW! I realised I was spending way too much money on useless stuff… A few pounds here and ther ebut it makes a huge difference at the end of the month! That, to be honest, really help…
I am not a teacher but I agree with you, you should all be paid much better! What an amazing job you do, it should be valued so much more than it is!
I downloaded some budgeting app and it told me, very plainly, how much I was spending on junk. It was shocking and then depressing, so I deleted it!!
I wish I didn’t have to count my pennies so much!
Yeah, it can be depressing… Both to see how much we spend and have to count so much! Which reminds me… I have a lottery ticket somewhere in my wallet. Better go check it, we never know! 😉
Oooh! I hope you win, my friend!! ❤️🤞🏻🤞🏻
Frede, I have to budget more moving from the UK to Canada for the same reason. I guess you just have to take a pay cut when you move countries!? 🙁
It seems like wages in Vancouver are waaaay lower than London though.
I guess the pay cut is normal then! I have to admit, I’m surprised to hear Vancouver salaries are lower than London’s… I’ve always been told that Vancouver and the whole West Coast have the best salaries in the country! To be honest, I was very lucky with my salary back home but I’m happy even with a lower salary here because I finally get to do the job I studied for. 🙂
Whaaaa!? Really?
I’m earning about half what i used to earn in London but the housing costs are about the same. I think the salaries in the VFX industry are pretty amazing here but I was surprised by how low some of the more normal jobs were!
Working in the Industry you studied for is more important anyway!! <3
What’s funny is I heard teaching salaries are crazy high in Canada, specifically on the east coast!
I honestly don’t know… Education is highly valued though, so I guess it would make sense?
Maybe?!
My youngest son uses Acorns. He loves it. Me? I have a set weekly budget that is meant to cover ALL my needs from food, to clothes, to gifts, to whatever…. so I put money aside from that towards any big ticket items that are coming up like rainbow coloured hair ! I seem to manage it really well.
Ooh. That’s a good idea-saving weekly money! Saving never occurred to me 😂😜
Have you thought about treating savings like a bill that must be paid monthly? Do direct deposit at a bank or credit union that is not conveniently located and don’t do debit card for that account. If it’s not easy to get to you’re more likely to leave it alone.
Debit cards are bad little monsters, you don’t see your green going away so it’s easy to keep spending. When you’re holding cash and see it dwindle as you spend you start asking yourself “do I really need/want that”.
You can do this!
Thanks for the vote of confidence! I do have a monthly transfer from checking to savings. Immediately after the transfer, I just transfer it right back 😂. I’m hopeless!
I don’t spend money on drugs, which is something I’m extremely proud of. But then . . I DO spend a healthy bit of coin on alcohol, which is technically a drug. And I do loves me my coffee . . another drug. And cable! Shit . . I can’t live without that. And then there’s Amazon, which is the worst kind of drug.
Come to think of it, maybe I should take up smoking weed. It’s probably less expensive.
BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I have the exact same struggles! I’m very proud of you that you don’t spend money on drugs 😂😂😜
Thanks for the support! We’re all in this together! At least until the zombie apocalypse, after which we’re gonna be treating each other like hot wings at a Super Bowl party.
Girl. Girl. We are in the process of paying down all my medical debt and the struggle is real. I feel ya. I do have to say, when you get so close to the brink of bankruptcy you see the light and all the sudden you don’t need Starbucks every day. Good luck to you. I know it’s hard.
It’s SO HARD!! Medical bills can suck it 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻
My downfall is cash. In my head, cash is out off the bank and therefore already spent.(even though its just sitting in my pocket) I buy whatever I want with cash. I am held accountable for things I buy with my card as my hubby has online banking and can see it too.
Him: “Uh Kira what did you buy for 150$ at kohls”
Me: “There was a sale.🤗😐”
I just wrote a post about money issues today! Great minds, my friend.
So I’m kind of in the same place right now: make enough to cover my bills, and even though I have debt (school, credit cards), I have good credit. But I don’t have any “extra” money. Like I was doing pretty well for a while but then fall happened, and payless had BOGO so of course, I had to buy TWO pairs of boots. And since I’ve lost so much weight I had no long pants for the winter cos it’s Canada, I need long pants. And then I got my tattoo. All within 3ish weeks so that killed me. Now I have to fix a tooth. Fingers crossed it only one tooth. And I had to buy new winter boots this year because the ones I bought last year literally fell apart so I spent more than I normally would on REALLY good quality ones which should last me at least 5 years. And now it’s Christmas…*panicked breathing*
I think I’ve inherited my father’s thought process of money management; when my bank account crosses a mythical milestone, I become determined to not let it dip below it again. For example, if my checking account reaches a thousand mark ($2,000, $3,000, $4,000), I basically stop spending money because I don’t want it to drop below that mark again. Then, when I’ve saved enough to almost reach the next milestone, I feel more comfortable spending a little more until I reach the next one or I spend so much that I’m almost going to drop below the last mile stone. It’s a mental struggle for me for sure, but it somehow seems to be working.
Allowances and budges sound like the healthier way to go… as well as limiting the Starbucks visits. Good luck my friend.
OMG! My checking account has never had $4000! What does that feel like? 🤣
My mythical number is any number that isn’t negative 😂😂😂
And that’s why I feel like I’ve inherited this… whatever-you-wanna-call-it. It’s not normal!
Awesome! I’ll blame it on my parents 😆
I have never related to someone on a more personal level, you are my spirit animal lol… I am the same exact way! I try to hard to plan and budget but all the other crap is too enticing and I can’t say no to starbucks, or a cute outfit from target (their plus section is to die for) or something to spoil the dog/cat/husband/kids or going out to eat (probably my biggest waste of money)
GIRL. Target’s plus size clothing is EVERYTHING!! I can’t even look over there when I go! It’s too tempting!
I’m glad someone else is as awesome as me! 😂🤣😆
Try this: I got a round trip plane ticket from Seattle to Amsterdam for 490 dollars this winter. You keep talking about going to back to Europe. Starbucks at 5 dollars plus tax, 4x a week, is over 1100 dollars a year. Just sayin’
DAMN! That’s SO cheap! Too bad I’m going to London in the summer! I’m tracking ticket prices right now on Hopper and the current price is $1700! 😬😬😬
Let me point out how cheap it is to travel once you are inside Europe. 27 dollars roundtrip Amsterdam to Berlin. Check other cities.
Oh, I know that. Isn’t your ticket from the states??
Yes. The 490 one was. My point is if you’re going to London, maybe don’t shop for summer tickets to London. Go somewhere cheaper and then fly, train, boat, or drive on. smiles.
Oh! I see what you’re saying! I will absolutely have to look into that!!
The BF saved hundreds of pounds flying from Dublin to Montreal to come visit me instead of flying from London/Manchester. The UK has really high taxes when it comes to flying so flying to Dublin/Paris/etc. is indeed much cheaper!
I’ve discovered that! I didn’t know why it was so expensive, but now I know why!!
My current failure is bagels from starbucks. We have a toaster in my office, so if i just bring my own bagels they’d be super cheap. BUT I keep forgetting to bring my own, so I fancy a bagel from starbucks which is like $2. Oops.
I’m not a fan of coffee, I think that is saving me a fortune. I mean there is no point in buying tea from starbucks. It tastes worse than if I make my own in my office.
…But this weekend I spent $3000 dollars on our flights to NewZealand and a 5 day ski pass for Whistler. So, that wiped out all the savings I’ve made since I started working in Canada.
Holy crap!!!! That’s exciting though!!
OMG. Starbucks bagels ❤️😋😋
I transfer money to a tax-free savings account- you pay a penalty for withdrawing money more than once a year, so I really don’t touch that at all! This is also why I can’t pull the trigger on any subscription services. I might like something in the moment, but nothing is so amazing to me that I need to pay for it monthly 🙁
I’ll have to look into that kind of savings account! A slap on the wrist for attempting to withdraw is just what I need!
Starbucksmmmmmm…I totally get where you are coming from! I have cut it down to once a week. I hear you about buying things you’ll forget about in 6 months. We just spent a week purging, and threw out like six trash bags of “stuff”. We still haven’t gotten to the closet.
And by the way, Acorns ROCKS. I’ve been using it for about 2 months now and I’ve already saved over $400. I add $25 out of every paycheck, so I’m socking away $100 a month effortlessly. The roundups work on just about everything too. I have it on all my credit cards and my PayPal account as well as my debit card. It adds up SO fast.
Oooh! Isn’t it fabulous!? Shit…to think I’d have so much had I not touched the “withdraw” button 😩😩😩
Whenever my email pings with a notification of your posts, I can guarantee I’ll laugh, so thank you! I can really relate with the money thing. I earn enough to pay my bills/debts but I really need to start paying over the minimum payment on my debts otherwise I’ll never be rid of them. It’s just that there are so many other nice things to buy! I also have issue with ‘waiting’ for things so I need to learn to put off buying things and wait until I know I have the money. Good luck with your budgeting!
Awww! That made my day ☺️☺️. Yes, I totally pay the minimum so that I’ll have money to buy something super important, like a rose gold travel cup 😉
I did gasp at that. It’s pretty awesome!
This could legitimately be my life. Except I’m unemployed and my benefits ran out. So, I am right there with you, looking at my bank account and sighing over Starbucks.
Ugh!! That’s no bueno! What are you going to do??
Thankfully, I have an amazing support system and was able to get a personal loan from a family member to pay my credit card off. Now I’m looking for work so I can pay the loan back (but at least that loan won’t destroy my credit).
That’s awesome!
Oh, and obviously I’m not buying anything anymore lol!
I’m so sorry! I know how fun that is!
Yea, kind of a bummer. But, it beats putting myself further in debt!
SO true!
This post was hilarious! ‘It’s just that I’m-going-for-toothpaste, turns into shit-fuck-how-did-I-spend-$100?’ HAHA!! Amazing. This has happened to me more times than I can count. My dream is to travel the world, so a year ago I gave up my apartment and began petsitting to save money. I don’t pay rent and I AM SAVING NOTHING!!! Ahhhh. But, I have a plan for the winter and am going to load up my bank account. I hope. Thanks for the laugh and the tips! Good luck!
OMG, girl! You could legit be me! I wanted to do the exact.same.thing, but I knew I’d not save anything and I’d just eff around not work towards my goal or anything. Le sigh. I really hope you succeed at this, because #goals ❤️
I have worked in accounting for nearly 2 decades now, so numbers are in my blood. I religiously plan out and maintain a budget. I go to Goodwill for clothing. And I stick to Keto, so a LOT of quickie foods aren’t even on my radar.
Plus…everyone in the household keeps reminding me that apartment life is NOT permanent, and we need money for the eventual house we want to buy.
You sound a lot like my mama! I’m scared of thrift stores. They are breeding grounds for bed bugs! Otherwise, I fully endorse that way of thinking/life!
I need/want to eventually buy a house, but that would require moving out of the area-home prices are terrible 😩.
The best decision I ever made years ago was to stop taking out loans. ALL LOANS. COMPLETELY.
Don’t buy a car on credit. Don’t use credit cards. Don’t ever buy anything you can’t pay for.
This sounds inpossible to many people and I have been told that it can’t be done in our country, but it can. I’ve been doing it for 15 years and I don’t make much money.
The credit card thing is easy. Just cut them up and never use them again.
For big ticket items like a car, it takes a bit of planning. Instead of making a car payment every month to pay off a loan, make that same payement into a savings account for the car you will buy in the future. The best part about this is instead of you having to pay interest on a loan you took out, the bank will pay you interest for leaving money in their bank.
Now this only works if you know that this money is now unspendable. It is gone. You made your car payment and you no longer have it. Just keep making this payment every month. It must be paid just like any other bill. Then, when the day comes that you need a new car, you’ve been putting money aside for this purpose. However much you have, that is your budget for the car. You pay cash and walk away.
I do this for everything. Just eliminating debt made a huge difference in finances.
But this (just like other finance strategies) only works if you actually folow the plan. It does not good to set money aside if you’re just going to dip into it again.
Wow! You are crazy disciplined! That’s awesome! Unfortunately, my car died a terrible death and getting a new car was inevitable. The public transportation where I live sucks, so that wasn’t an option.
Do you treat yourself occasionally? Can you travel on this plan?
I did treat myself sometimes, but I kept in mind that I had to maintain a budget.
I traveled from Illinois to Portland, OR to attend my cousin’s wedding, visited the East Coast and went to Moab, UT. All within 2 years and this was on a salary of less than 25K as a single father with two kids.
It takes being intentional about spending, but I was free once my debt was gone. I loved it.
I bet that freedom of no debt was so amazing. Unless I buy a house that I can use to pay off my student loans, I don’t think I’ll ever be free of debt. It’s a nice thought, though…
As one who has lived on less than 20K a year with two kids, I know that not spending money is the easiest way to save it. But I also know how difficult is to not spend it when a little extra suddenly comes in. Good luck! And I like the idea of Acorns… I’ll have to check it out…
Acorns is AWESOME! I totally get that, then my brain goes all YOLO! Like, I hate the idea of living with next to no fun or occasional extravagance all the time, when I could die tomorrow! 😱😱
What if we thought about it like I tell my 10 year old when he wants to spend his $5 on Pokemon cards. Save your money for bigger and better things. Could we have twice as much fun with twice as much money?
That’s very true!!!
When I tell my husband I went to Target, his immediate response is, “*Sigh* How much?” Whatever, man. THAT TINY CANDLE THAT DOESN’T EVEN PRODUCE A SCENT WAS A NECESSITY. So yeah, I’m not helpful in that department. I take cash out every Friday and whatever I don’t spend goes into my “X Fund” (currently it’s Hawaii); sometimes I need to sneak some out for pedicures, but it’s worked pretty well for me! (Although, full disclosure, I cheat and use my debit card if it’s something for both the hubs AND me.)
Oooh! That’s a good idea to take the money out Friday! I’m going to do that!
Yes, ‘cause then you’re fresh for the weekend!!
YESSSSS! I was think if I took the money out on Sunday, I’d never last till the next weekend 🤣😩
Also, candles are ALWAYS a necessity 😆
Oh boy. The feels on this one. So relatable!!
I’m glad I’m not the only one!!
My biggest strategy is that we moved to China. Got rid of almost everything, and that was remarkable. How many things we owned that hadn’t been used, or used, but didn’t really need to use. It’s not so much a strategy as a horror story, though.
LOL! A horror story 😆. I think I need to do the same and move to a foreign country! That’s actually a really fun idea!
I have zero budget strategies. I nodded along to this WHOLE post. It was like reading about me minus the Starbucks addiction. I’ve got to sort out my shit too. You’ve kinda inspired me, BUT I have just seen some cute Mother & daughter matching leopard skin shoes…think how adorable we’d look strolling down the street together….
OMG! Yes! Get those and THEN you can sort things out 😉😉
I’ve ordered them & am holding you completely responsible 😄
Ooh! Post pics!! 😆
Well, we moved to Germany from the States. I sold as much as I could, and donated the rest to charity groups. Now we are a one income family. So, it’s simple, I have no money to spend. But don’t think for a moment that I am not cruising Amazon daily just to “look.” Also, I can barely introduce myself, let alone order anything by myself in public.
Omg! That’s it!! I’ll just move to a foreign country!! That’s the answer. AND, what an incredible experience!!
Yep, I really don’t mind that I can’t buy anything anymore because I am so busy trying to learn to speak German!
That’s so awesome!!
I want to help, I really do. But.
HOLY SHIT, ROSE GOLD STARBUCKS TRAVEL MUGS??? I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER NEEDED ANYTHING MORE!
I KNOWWWWWWWW! The want is SO BAD!
Another great post.
I take out acutally real live cash (like proper paper money) for the week and live on that rather than charging / using credit card. Problem is the week is now down to just 4 days!! I also spent a bit of time recently checking all my bills – do I need netlix and Amazon and 300+ channels? Nah – so dumped some and got my subsciption costs down. Also queried my house insurance and got that down 20% or so. TIme consuming but works if you have the time and can be assed.
I totally got rid of a bunch of my subscriptions! That’s helped a lot!
Cute post. I would actually going looking for cute envelopes too!! 😊
😆☺️☺️
I feel your pain. I cant just write on regular loose leaf paper with a regular pencil. OMG no. I have to have a cute notebok and and ticonderoga pencils. Colored preferably. Too funny. Thanks for sharing
LOL!! Glad you relate 😜☺️