Ya’ll, I wish, from the very depths of my soul, that I could be a travel blogger. Why hasn’t someone super rich and stupid with their money hired me to travel and write up hilarious travel snafus? Why?
Not only do I long to travel more, I wish to go back to where I left my bleeding heart-London Town.
I went on my last, serious trip seven years ago. Seven.years.ago.
This is unacceptable.
Seven years ago was the last time I was in England, and a little bit of my soul dies every day more. My ultimate fear in this life is never getting a chance to get back there again.
As I type (tap on my asshole phone that still thinks, after all this time, that I mean “duck”), my heart is literally aching and my stomach is in knots.
It feels like homesickness.
I miss where my heart belongs.
Ya know?
#fbf to when I was living it up in London (This is also a flashback to when I thought I was fat-I wish I could be that fat again).
I had some super sweet photography skills seven years ago. I’m glad I was able to travel all the way to England to capture this dude’s chops so well.
#awkwardtouristphoto
Those T-Rex arms, though.
Fucking Nandos. Dammit, I miss you.
I had just eaten a hot crossed bun. Baked goods create a certain glow about me.
Impossibly quaint.
I can still feel that cool, curry-scented breeze (it was a nice change of scent from the hotel room’s eau de funk).
Le sigh
Category: Photography
Christmas Puke
Dudes, it’s Christmastime! I thought I would announce that in case some of you were still not aware.
I freaking love Christmas!
I decorate errything with Christmas-Christmas hand towels, Christmas candles, Christmas kitchen utensils and tools, Christmas blankets and pillows, Christmas soap, and even Christmas underwear.
Yup.
I am Christmas AF.
Don’t mistake my penchant for Christmas-ing everything to mean that any Christmas decor will do.
I have standards.
Most of my decor is either vintage-inspired cool or new, funky, and simple. The only cheese factor involves my ornaments. I have been collecting ornaments since before I was born, thanks to my parents. No matter how cheesy they are, they are forever included on my Christmas tree. Some may have a permanent place on the back of the tree, but, dammit, they are never being donated.
Because everyone simply loves checking out random people’s Christmas decor, I thought I’d share some of my favorite spaces in my home.
Before I forget, “Christmas Puke” is what my boyfriend calls any and all Christmas decor. He can’t even when I’m constantly bringing home more ornaments or gift wrapping essentials after he’s expressed that he thinks we have just enough Christmas crap. Ha! Like that’s even possible!
Men.
I hope ya’ll are enjoying the best time of the year. I know I am. I love listening to Christmas music as I curl up in my Christmas blanket and eat an entire tin of shortbread cookies. It’s practically a tradition!
Merry Happy Holidays Time!
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History and Gold Mining Towns and Ghosts, Oh My!
We all know that I was my usual fatty over the week-long break I had recently. What ya’ll maybe don’t realize is that I don’t just eat all of the time (although, I do get my eat on a lot). I love to explore, travel, and experience. Without venturing too far from home, one can discover hidden gems, history, and fun times.
I have lived in Nevada my whole life, and not once had I ever been to Genoa. Even crazier, for this history lover (lover, not buff–I’m terrible at history), I didn’t know that it was the first settlement in Nevada. It was established in 1851, and it houses the oldest saloon in Nevada. This was not surprising, as Nevadans have always loved their booze.
Since discovering Genoa, I’ve been twice. It’s a super cute place, dripping in history, and it’s only about an hour from Reno. The Pink House is a must do. The pulled pork sandwich, s’mores skillet and apple and pear crisp from my Food Baby Part 2 post came from The Pink House.
Another place I went to over break is Virginia City. I’ve been to VC approximately a billion times. It can be very touristy, but if you’re in the know, you can find some amazing things to do that doesn’t involve buying overpriced junky knickknacks. Some of these include The Steampunk Ball; World Championship Outhouse Races; saloon crawls; ghost tours and investigations; and the Camel Races.
There’s just something about Virginia City. Maybe it’s the spirits, always on the prowl, the fact that I’ve always enjoyed my time there, or that the history is so thick you could cut it with a knife. Either way, if you’re ever in the Reno-Tahoe-Carson area, VC is a must.
I’m hoping to join a ghost investigation soon. Be on the lookout for a post about Fatty Cake scaring the literal crap out of herself…#pooppants #boopoo
Because I mentioned the Steampunk Ball, I thought I’d share some of my different looks I’ve had for the event over the years.
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Food Baby Part Two
So, as I mentioned in my previous post, I meant to share pictures of my food dalliances, but got too carried away with the story of my cupcake ninja moves at a baby shower.
Last week, on break, I had a permanent food baby. In fact, now that I think of it, I have always had a permanent food baby. Oy vey.
I guess, without further ado-Why I’m Fat #3,456:
I thought I took more pictures of what I ate. It doesn’t even look that bad….
But, it was. I’m still hurting.
I’ve been taking a shot of Pepto with a Kaopectate chaser before bed for four nights.
#helpme
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La Maison de Fatty
I’ve finally gotten some things up on the walls and elsewhere. I’ve decided to share pictures of some of my favorite spaces in my new digs. As you will see, I have pretty eclectic taste. I also love girly stuff too. My style is so bipolar. I really love me some funky signs, sugar skulls, Britain-themed anything, Steampunk-esque aquatic themes, and retro collectibles. Who says you can’t incorporate it all?!
Oh poop. Pewp. I’m such a 12 year-old boy…
Octopus are my favorite.
I think my shower curtain is my favorite thing ever.
I HAVE A CEILING FAN!
This is hard to see, but I finally have my coveted clear makeup organizer that just gets uber dusty. The price we pay.
I can’t stop admiring my new lace and fabric peach-colored flowers.
Sugar skulls and vintage globes.
I love this little guy.
All of my most prized possessions.
This is so I don’t forget where my kitchen is.
Errybody loves my hobo stew.
Because every skull lover has to have a skull-themed cookie jar. It’s a must!
Found this in all places-Elko. It’s one of my favorite possessions. It’s just so me.
An empty candy dish, because I can’t be trusted with a full dish of candy.
If you want to learn about who I am as a person, just check out my magnet collection.
Don’t judge. This is quite possibly the smallest, lamest bar in all the land. I had to do something fun with this retro telephone cart. Ain’t no one got time for landlines anymore. Also, I don’t drink much, but when I do, it’s likely to be a Moscow Mule (but, I’m out of vodka. And ginger beer. I’m the worst). Also, Fireball, because I’m classy like that.
I have a makeup table, but it’s not finished. In case you didn’t know, every single lady has to have a makeup table. I’ll share when it’s blinged out!
I hope you enjoyed the pics of my crazy, eclectic apartment.
Toodle-oo and ta-ta for now!
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Yoga and Cupcakes
Hello All! It is me again. I have some exciting news! The pictures I took for the magazine have finally been edited and sent to me to use on my blog! This was way back in November, and I thought the day that I would get to share these on my blog would never come!
These pictures are the ones I wanted to be featured in the magazine. They were not the ones chosen, but, oh well, because even more importantly, I get to share them with my lovely readers!
I believe I shared already that modeling ain’t for no punk bitch. Let me reiterate, I give massive props to models. They are incredibly resilient and strong. I was exhausted after 4 hours of shooting in the same position!
The photographer actually took my crazy venture seriously, and he took some 400 pictures. He spent an hour just setting things up to look ‘just right’. I am eternally grateful.
Because, obviously, I am no model, I assumed he would snap a couple pictures and then move on to more serious projects. No, he was incredibly professional and kind.
Without further ado, I present to you the fruits of my “modeling” labor.
