Oops, My Bad

I’m posting today to apologize for not posting my usual on Wednesday and today. The Christmas crazies have kicked in and I’m finding myself overwhelmed trying to fit in all the fun. Maybe one year I’ll slow the shit down and actually enjoy the holidays.

I’m fully expecting that you will see an update on how Dumpy and McMilkshakes are doing. Spoiler alert: We’re struggling and dieting during the holidays can suck our sagging back fat.

Check out the first posts in the Diet Chronicles of Dumpy Von Marshmallow Waist and Duchess McMilkshakes:

The First Post

Week Two

The Thanksgiving Edition

I’m positively loving writing ridiculous advice from Aunt Fatty, but I only have one submission waiting for my anti-advice, so I decided to wait and see if more of you felt the need for crappy life lessons from a wholly unqualified individual (to the person waiting: I hope it wasn’t, like, a time sensitive issue. If so, my bad).

So, in order for Free Advice Friday From Your Aunt Fatty to work, I kinda need people seeking advice. I considered just writing fake submissions, but I want to bring real life fuckery to you, not made up bullshit.

So, get to writing in. You can submit your queries here.

Check out the posts I’ve already done thanks to your submissions:

The First Round of Ridiculousness

More Non-Advice

The Last Post?

In going back through these previous posts I’ve done, I’m noticing that each new post got less likes than the last. Maybe you’re all busy with Christmas crap like I am or I was mistaken and ya’ll actually really hate this series?

Well, on that depressing note, I’ll take my leave. Hope to *see* y’all next week.

22 thoughts on “Oops, My Bad”

  1. Dieting through the Holidays suck so I admire your courage. If it gets to be too difficult go ahead and taste a holiday treat now and then.

    Just don’t swallow. Taste it, savor the flavor then spit it out into a napkin. No calories if you don’t swallow.

    You also have a way with words that I admire and makes reading your posts so enjoyable. You bring humor with your words and I wish I could do that. Have a great week.

    1. Awww this means a lot to me to hear. Somedays, I wonder why I’m even doing this, but comments like this keep me going.

      That’s genius. I’ll put a tasty morsel in my mouth and I’ll even chew the thing and then I’ll *try* to spit it out. My mom won’t approve, but she might also get in on this genius diet hack. Nice!

    1. I don’t want to stop but the submissions have stopped coming in so I might have no choice 😢😢😢

      Thanks, friend! That means a lot!

          1. The best nickname 😊just to add to laughs-currently I am in a very posh castle restaurant wearing a blue velvet dress that is a bit of a fat bag really but I forgot to pack suitable shoes so I am wearing my fur lined ankle boots pretending it is fashion.

          2. “Fat bag” OMG. Girl, you’re killing me 🤣🤣🤣🤣❤️. That sounds like something I’d SO do. So funny!!

  2. Thanks for the very entertaining update…my wife and I are looking ahead to 5 straight weekends of obligations…we just can’t say “NO” – well, I can quite easily, but she feels it would be rude, so the party goes on…and on…is it rude to ask to be left alone?

      1. Hon. You know I can complicate the shit out of anything. Now add in fun things like holiday parties (bring a treat? I’ll bring six types of fudge and petit fours and cookies and…) and shopping (everyone needs the most perfect gift! And it should come in a package which is also a gift!) It’s the same struggle every year, really. My Too Much gene means the holidays are the MOST fun for me, but it also means I can stress myself out like woah.

        1. Oh, I’m the SAME WAY. It’s why my normal posts didn’t happen this week. I can spend 20 minutes wrapping a present in the most elaborate fashion. I love it but hate it, ya know. You’re not alone in this. At least there’s that…

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